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Monthly Archives: January 2014

Readings Malachi 3.1-5Hebrews 2.14-18; Luke 2.22-40
Today  – Presentation of Christ
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Mattins – Trusley
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Thursday 12.30p.m.  Funeral of Kaye Mottishead – Long Lane
Next Sunday – 4th before Lent
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
We remember in our prayers
Today Burundi The Most Revd Bernard Ntahoturi Archbishop of the Province of Burundi & Bishop of Matana
Pray for all children’s clubs and groups and those working to bring the Gospel to our children
Monday  Argentina – (Southern Cone) The Rt Revd Gregory James Venables
Wirksworth Team Ministry Clergy: David Truby, Kara Werner, Janet Turville; Readers: Elizabeth Thomas, Brian. Smith, Rod Prince
Tuesday  Argyll & The Isles – (Scotland) The Rt Revd Kevin Pearson
Fresh Expressions. Pray for all those involved in Fresh Expressions of Church.
Wednesday Arizona – (VIII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Kirk Smith
Royal School of Church Music.    
Thursday  Arkansas – (VII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Larry Benfield
Bell Ringers.
Friday  Bujumbura – (Burundi) The Rt Revd Eraste Bigirimana
Local Newspapers.
Saturday   Armidale – (New South Wales, Australia) The Rt Revd Peter Robert Brain
Local Radio Stations.
Sunday Groaner
A Chorister’s Confession
Almighty and most merciful Conductor,we have erred and strayed from thy beat like lost sheep.We have followed too much the intonations and tempi of our own hearts;we have offended against thy dynamic markings;we have sung those notes whicvh we ought not to have sung and there is no support in us.But hou, O Conductor, have mercy upon us miserable singers.Succour the chorally challenged;restore thou them that need extra note-bashing;spare them that are without pencil.Pardon our mistakes and have faith that hereafter we will follow thy direction and sing together in perfect harmony.
Miscellaneous observations on life…
– A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
– It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to overtake them.
– You can’t have everything – where would you put it?
The Parish Pump can be found on the
internet at  (note changed address) https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

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Readings Isaiah 9.1-4; 1 Corinthians 1.10-18; Matthew 4.12-23
Today  – Epiphany 3
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – – Boylestone
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
3.00p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong  – Trusley
Monday 8.00p.m. Sutton PCC
Saturday 10.30a.m.  Big Breakfast – Boylestone
Next Sunday – Epiphany 4
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Mattins – Trusley
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long LaneWe remember in our prayers
Today  . Igreja Episcopal Anglicana do Brasil Brasilia – (Brazil) The Rt Revd Maurício Jose Araujo De Andrade
Wirksworth Deanery. Rural Dean: David Truby, Lay Chair: John Poulson
Monday   Amritsar – (North India) The Rt Revd Pradeep Samantaroy
Missionary Societies
Tuesday   Andaman & Car Nicobar Islands – (North India) The Rt Revd Christopher Paul
Darley, South Darley and Winster Clergy: Stephen Monk; Reader: Ilonka Aldersley
Wednesday   Anglican Parishes of the Central Interior (formerly Cariboo) – (British Columbia & the Yukon, Canada) The Rt Revd Barbara Jean Andrews
Dethick Lea and Holloway Clergy: Mark Crowther-Alwyn
Thursday  . Angola (Missionary Diocese) – (Southern Africa) The Rt Revd Andre Soares
Matlock Bank and Tansley Clergy: Richard Reade; Reader: John Paulson
Friday   Ankole – (Uganda) The Rt Revd Sheldon Mwesigwa
North Ankole – (Uganda) The Rt Revd John Muhanguzi
Matlock Bath and Cromford Clergy: Nick Grayshon; Readers: David Green, M.P. Wilderspin, Bernice Smith
Saturday   Antananarivo – (Indian Ocean) The Rt Revd Samoela Jaona Ranarivelo
Antananarivo – Tulear – (Indian Ocean) The Rt Revd Todd Andrew McGregor
Antsiranana – (Indian Ocean) The Rt Revd Dr Oliver Simon
Matlock St Giles Clergy: Mark Crowther-Alwyn
Sunday Groaner
Sunny day
An astronomer went to Darkest Africa to observe a total eclipse of the sun, when he was captured by cannibals. The eclipse was due the next day around noon. To gain his freedom he planned to pose as a god and threaten to extinguish the sun if he was not released. But the timing had to be just right. So, in the few words of the cannibals’ primitive tongue that he knew, he asked his guard what time they planned to kill him.
The guard’s replied: “Tradition has it that captives are to be killed when the sun reaches the highest point in the sky on the day after their capture, so that they may be cooked and ready to be served for the evening meal.”
“Great,” the astronomer replies.
The guard continued: “But everyone’s so excited about the eclipse, that in your case we’re going to wait…”
Sunday School Lesson
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then she asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?”
Jenny, a thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d be sick!”

The Parish Pump can be found on the
internet at  (note changed address) https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Isaiah 49.1-7; 1 Corinthians 1.1-9; John 1.29-42
Today  – Epiphany 2
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
3.00p.m. Evensong – Long LaneMonday
7.15p.m. Boylestone PCC – Village HallTuesday 14th January
7.30p.m. Long Lane PCC
Next Sunday – Epiphany 3
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – – Boylestone
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
3.00p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong  – Trusley

We remember in our prayers
Today  Bangladesh The Most Revd Paul Sarker Moderator, Church of Bangladesh & Bishop of Dhaka
Week of Prayer for Christian Unity.
Monday  Alabama – (IV, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd John Sloan
Suffragan Bishop elect of Alabama – (IV, The Episcopal Church) Vacant
Peak Forest and Dove Holes Clergy: Carl Edwards, Mary Washbrook; Reader: Pamela Sutherland
Tuesday  Alaska – (VIII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Mark Lattime
Albany – (II, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd William Love
Food Banks
Wednesday  Algoma – (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd Stephen Andrews
Padley & Refugee advice
Thursday  The Most Revd Dr Eliud Wabukala Primate and Archbishop of All Kenya
All Saints Cathedral Diocese – Garissa Missionary Area – (Kenya) The Rt Revd David Mutisya
Bishop – Episcopate of the Armed Forces – (Kenya) The Rt Revd Colonel Peter Simiyu
Church Urban Fund.
Friday  Amazon – (Brazil) The Rt Revd Saulo Mauricio de Barros
Christian Aid
Saturday  Amichi – (Niger, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Ephraim Ikeakor
The Conversion of Paul

Sunday Groaner
The Haircut
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test. He asked his father when he could start using the family car. His father replied: “You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible, and get your hair cut. Then we’ll talk about the car.”
The boy thought about that, and decided he’d settle for the offer. After about six weeks his father said, “Son, you’ve brought your grades up and I’ve observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t had your hair cut.”
The boy said, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.”
His dad sat for a moment and then thoughtfully agreed. Then he added: “Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?”

The Parish Pump can be found on the
internet at  (note changed address) https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Isaiah 42.1-9; Acts 10.34-43;  Matthew 3.13-17
Today  – Baptism of Christ
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
Monday 7.15p.m. Boylestone PCC – Village Hall
Tuesday 14th January7.30p.m. Long Lane PCC
Next Sunday – Baptism of Christ
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
2.30p.m.p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today Australia The Most Revd Dr Phillip John Aspinall Archbishop of Brisbane & Primate of Australia
Buxton Deanery Rural Dean: John Hudghton, Lay Chair: Christine McMullen
Monday Aipo Rongo – (Papua New Guinea) The Rt Revd Dr Nathan IngenAnglican Communion Anglican unity in the diversity of the Communion, Anglican Consultative Council, Primate’s meeting
Suffragan Bishop of Aipo Rongo – (Papua New Guinea) The Rt Revd Denys Ririka
Buxton Trinity Church. Clergy: Robert Marsden, Paul Hancock
Tuesday Ajayi Crowther – (Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Olugbenga Oduntan
Buxton with Burbage and King Sterndale Team Ministry. Clergy: John Hudghton, Keith Cocking; Readers: John Wood, Michael Moore, John Cooper, Sheila Morris
Wednesday Akoko – (Ondo, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Gabriel Akinbiyi
Chapel-en-le-Frith St Thomas Beckett
Thursday Akoko Edo – (Bendel, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Jolly Oyekpen
Fairfield St Peter Clergy: Carl Edwards; Reader: Christine McMullen
Friday Akot – (Sudan) The Rt Revd Isaac Dhieu Ater
Taddington Chelmorton and Monyash Clergy: Richard Benson; Reader: David Race
Saturday Week of Prayer for Christian Unity
Akure – (Ondo, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Michael IpinmoyeSunday Groaner
Notice Sheet Bloopers
We are delighted to announce that the youth group has raised almost £500 for drug abuse.
Correction: The following typo appeared in our last bulletin: ‘Lunch will be gin at 12:15.’ Please correct to read ’12 noon.’
Any church member over 18 is welcome on our new lay ministry programme. It requires minimal training and time: just six weekly classes of about 200 hours each Tuesday night.
The Seniors group will have a picnic on Saturday. Each person is asked to bring a friend, a vegetable, and a sweet, all in a covered dish. Meat and drinks will be furnished.
Remember the church jumble sale. We have a gents three-speed bicycle, also two ladies for sale, in good running order.

The Parish Pump can be found on the
internet at  (note changed address) https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Isaiah 60.1-6; Ephesians 3.1-12;  Matthew 2.1-12
Today  – Epiphany
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service & Holy Baptism – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.00a.m. Mattins – Trusley
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Monday
11.45am Funeral of Thomas William Kent – Longford
Tuesday
11.00a.m. Funeral of Maurice Samuel Redfern – Boylestone
7.30p.m. Church Broughton PCC – Vicarage
Thursday
1.45p.m. Funeral of Mary Elizabeth Pott – Dalbury
Saturday
11.00a.m. Funeral of Peter King – Longford
Next Sunday – Baptism of Christ
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
Monday 13th January
7.15p.m. Boylestone PCC – Village Hall
Tuesday 14th January
7.30p.m. Long Lane PCC
Sunday Groaner
2013 The Darwin Awards
Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us.
Here Is The Glorious Winner:
1. When his .38 calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot
did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
Now, The Honourable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
3. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
4. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
The Parish Pump can be found on the
internet at  (note changed address) https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com