Monthly Archives: February 2014

Readings Exodus 24.12-18; Reading 2 Peter 1.16-21; Matthew 17.1-9
Today  –  Next before Lent
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service for Fair Trade Sunday – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.00a.m. Mattins – Trusley
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
2.00p.m. Holy Baptism – Boylestone
3.00p.m. Evensong -Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Tuesday 7.30p.m. Long Lane Annual Parochial Church Meeting – Church
Ash Wednesday 7.30p.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
Thursday 12.30p.m. Lenten Lunch – Laurels Farm, Burnaston in aid of All Saints Dalbury
Saturday 1.00p.m. Table Top Sale in aid of St Andrew’s Radbourne – Brailsford Institute
Next Sunday – Lent 1
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Family Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
We remember in our prayers
Today   Congo The Most Revd Kahwa Henri Isingoma Archbishop of the Congo & Bishop of Kinshasa
Derby South Deanery Rural Dean: Andy Ward, Lay Chair: Peter Vincent
Monday   Bath & Wells – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Peter Hancock
Bath & Wells – Taunton – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Peter David Maurice
Blagreaves, St Andrew Clergy: Paul Bysouth
Tuesday   Bathurst – (New South Wales, Australia) The Rt Revd Ian PalmerDerby, St Bartholomew Clergy: Theo Holmes
Wednesday   Bauchi – (Jos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Musa Tula
Ash Wednesday Pray for forgiveness and renewal as we enter the time of Lent
Thursday   Belize – (West Indies) The Rt Revd Philip Wright
Derby, St Peter and Christ Church with Holy Trinity Clergy: Paul Morris, Anita Matthews; Readers: Margaret Phypers, Tim Benson, Geoff Holland
Friday     Bendigo – (Victoria, Australia) The Rt Revd Andrew William Curnow
Littleover, St Peter Clergy: Alicia Dring, Roger Gray ; Readers: Carol Dickinson, Paul Taylor, Phillip Rollinson
Saturday  Benin – (Bendel, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Peter Imasuen
Mickleover, All Saints Clergy: Peter Walley, Mary Staunton, Phyllis Bainbridge, Alun Rowlands, Paul Pritchard; Readers: Helen Walley
Sunday Groaner
The Bible according to children
Children’s version of biblical stories and events have a charm all their own. The following efforts have not been retouched or corrected (i.e. bad spelling has been left in).
~ Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
~ Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears.
~ Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
~ The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on
Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
~ Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
Adam and Eve’s true nationality
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian were viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. “Look at that garden they are maintaining so well,” mused the Brit. “They must be British.”
“Nonsense,” the Frenchman disagreed. “They’re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French.”
“Ah, but no clothes, no shoes, no shelter,” the Russian pointed out, “they have only an apple to eat, and they’re being told this is paradise. They are Russian.”Present
For Father Nicholas’s 60th birthday, the congregation at St Mary’s decided to give him a present of a new suit. Father Nicholas was so moved by the gift that the following Sunday he stood before everyone and began his homily with a tear in his eye, ‘Today I am preaching to you in my birthday suit.’

The Parish Pump can be found on the
internet at  (note changed address)


Readings Deuteronomy 30.15-20; 1 Corinthians 3.1-9; Matthew 5.21-37
Today  – 3rd before Lent
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12.00noon Holy Communion – Trusley
2.30p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Friday 12noon Funeral of Dorothy Brown – Sutton
Next Sunday –  2nd before Lent
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
3.00p.m. Evensong -Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong – Trusley
We remember in our prayers
Today Central Africa The Most Revd Albert Chama Archbishop of Central Africa & Bishop of Northern Zambia
Derby North Deanery. Rural Dean: Julian Hollywell, Lay Chair: Rosemary Lancaster
Monday   Auckland – (Aotearoa NZ & Polynesia) The Rt Revd Ross Bay
Breadsall, All Saints Clergy: Alison Maddocks, Diana Morrison CHN; Readers: Jane Williams, Christopher Prior, Fran Monahan, Lecky Allwood
Tuesday  Aweil – (Sudan) The Rt Revd Abraham Yel Nhial
Chaddesden, St Mary Clergy: Jason Ward; Readers: David Oddie, Ann Oddie
Wednesday  Awka – (Niger, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Alexander Ibezim
Awgu / Aninri – (Niger, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Emmaunuel Ugwu
Chaddesden, St Philip with Derby St Mark Clergy: Romita Shrisunder, Michael Futers; Readers: Maureen Jenkins
Thursday  Awori – (Lagos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd J Akin Atere
Derby, St Alkmund and St Werburgh. Clergy: Jean Burgess, Ian Mountford; Readers: Hugh Craig, John Parkin
Friday    Badagry – (Lagos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Joseph Adeyemi
Derby, St Anne and Derby, St John. Clergy: Elaine Jones, Theo Holmes
Saturday Bukuru – (Jos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Jwan ZhumbesDerby, St Barnabas Clergy: Derek Honour; Readers: Bill Day
Sunday Groaner
Miscellaneous observations on life…
– A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
– It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to overtake them.
– You can’t have everything – where would you put it?
– Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.
– There is nothing safer than flying. It’s crashing that’s dangerous.
– Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
– The trouble with referees is that they just don’t care which side wins.
– Marriage is not a lottery. In a lottery you have a chance.
The Parish Pump can be found on the
internet at  (note changed address)