Readings Ephesians 5.8-14; John 9.1-41
Today – Lent 4
10.30a.m. United Holy Communion – Longford
Monday 7.15p.m. Boylestone Annual Parochial Church Meeting
Wednesday 7.00p.m. Longford Annual Parochial Church Meeting – Pump House
NO Lenten Study this week(back next week)
Thursday Lenten Lunch – Laurels Farm, Burnaston
Next Sunday – Lent 5
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton11.00a.m. Mattins – Trusley
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long LaneAdvance Notice
Monday 7th April Sutton Annual Parochial Church Meeting
Monday 14th April Trusley Annual Parochial Church Meeting
We remember in our prayers
Today Ireland The Most Revd Dr Richard Lionel Clarke Archbishop of Armagh and Primate of All Ireland and Metropolitan;
Andaman and Nicobar Islands Christopher Paul
Monday Bukavu – (Congo) The Rt Revd Sylvestre Bahati;
West Hallam and Mapperley with Stanley: Ingrid Owen-Jones, Richard Styles;
Tuesday Bukedi – (Uganda) The Rt Revd Samuel Egesa;
Wilne and Draycott with Breaston Clergy: Christopher Smedley, Maria Przeslawski, Gary Dundas; Readers: April McIntyre, Ruth Pechey;
Wednesday Bunbury – (Western Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Alan Ewing;
Church Mission Society Thursday Bungoma – (Kenya) The Revd George Mechumo;
Friday Bunyoro-Kitara – (Uganda) The Rt Revd Nathan Kyamanywa;
Mission and Ministry team Andy Broom, Lee Townend, Stella Collishaw,, Esther Elliott, Alison Maddocks, Simon Taylor, Gareth Greenwood, Michael Mitton, Jason Kennedy, Sharron Howarth, Rita Brierley, Sally Cartwright and Fiona Bennett Saturday Busan – (Korea) The Rt Revd Onesimus Dongsin Park ;
Churches Together in Derbyshire Sunday Groaner
Why God made mums
These were the answers given by some seven year-olds…
Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows all the passwords we use online.
2. Mostly to clean the house, I think.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. I’ve heard it was some amazing experiment on men that got out of hand.
3. God made my mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and one part of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
3. They have a lot more hair than dads, are softer to hug, and wear woolly jumpers.
Why did God give you to your mother, and not to some other mum?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other kids’ mums like me.
3. Other mums wouldn’t understand about me being afraid in the dark.
What kind of little girl was your mum?
1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did your mum need to know about your dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background, like has he put anything too disgusting on Facebook?
3. She needed to check out his bank account, to make sure he could buy her clothes.
Why did your mum marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mum eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that no one will ever know.
Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Dad is, because mum says so. She just helps by reminding him what to do each day.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. Dad was, until Mum found what he had written on Facebook about Granny.
What’s the difference between mums & dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but they panic when the dishwasher overflows.
What does your mum do in her spare time?
1. She takes my brother to football and my sister to violin lessons.
2. To hear her tell it, it’s like she pays bills all day long.
3. I think that must happen during the night, because then she just lies there and sleeps
What would it take to make your mum perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.
3. She would understand why the dog needs to sleep with me at night.
If you could change one thing about your mum, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. She’d be more relaxed about me not doing my homework.
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com
Readings Ephesians 5.8-14; John 9.1-41