Archive

Monthly Archives: June 2014

Readings Jeremiah 20.7-13; Romans 6.1b-11; Matthew 10.24-39
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  – Trinity 1
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Family Communion – Boylestone
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion  – Long Lane6.30p.m. Evensong – RadbourneSaturday 11.00am Wedding – LongfordNext Sunday – Trinity 210.30a.m. United Service – Boylestone Methodist Church1.30p.m. Holy Baptism – Trusley3.00p.m. Burial – Church Broughton6.30p.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
Advance Notice
Saturday 12 July Summer Buffet – Thatched Farm RadbourneTicket £12-50 from J Pegram 01332-824507
Wednesday 16 July Long Lane Fete
We remember in our prayers
Today  Nigeria (Anglican Communion) The Most Revd Nicholas Okoh Metropolitan & Primate of all Nigeria & Bishop of Abuja
Chattisgarh Purna Sagar Nag
Monday Diocese on the Coast formerly (Ikale-Ilaje) – (Ondo, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Joshua Ogunele
Whittington Clergy: Jo Morris,Janet Quick
Tuesday Doko – (Lokoja, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Uriah KoloThe Birth of John the Baptist
Pray for all preachers and teachers
Wednesday  Dominican Republic – (IX, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Julio Holguin
Wingerworth All Saints Clergy: Jonathan Poston, Jenn Willis; Readers: Anne Knyhynyckyj, Trevor Burch
Thursday Dornakal – (South India) The Rt Revd Dr Bachu Satyanandam Devamani
Pastoral Assistants
Friday  Down & Dromore – (Armagh, Ireland) The Rt Revd Harold Creeth Miller
Dublin & Glendalough – (Dublin, Ireland) The Most Revd Michael Geoffrey St Aubyn Jackson
Diocesan Association ofReaders Warden of Readers – Esther Elliott and board members John Puxty, Stephen Mitchell, Mary Parker, Maurice Greasley, Christine McMullen, Tony Winslade, Liz Thomas, Anna Davis, Rosie Moakes, Marlene WestonSaturday  Dunedin – (Aotearoa NZ & Polynesia) The Rt Revd Dr Kelvin Peter WrightOrdinandsSunday Groaner
DIY
Our churchwarden has the courage, but not always the skills, to tackle any DIY job that needs doing around the church. For example, in the church shed are still pieces of the church lawn mower she once tried to fix. So our vicar wasn’t surprised the day he found her in the vestry, attacking the vacuum cleaner with a screwdriver. “This thing won’t cooperate,” she complained.
The vicar thought for a moment: “Why don’t you drag it out to the shed and show it what you did to the lawn mower?”
Plant
During our priest’s very lengthy sermon, a large plant suddenly fell over right behind the pulpit, crashing to the floor. He smiled sheepishly and said, “Well, that’s the first time I actually put a plant to sleep.”
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Advertisements

Readings Isaiah 40.12-17,27-31; 2 Corinthians 13.11-13; Matthew 28.16-20

NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today   – Trinity Sunday
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton

9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton

10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford

11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong
Tuesday 7.30p.m.Long Lane PCC
Saturday
3.00p.m. Teddy Bear Parachuting – Church Broughton
5.00p.m. Midsummer Madness & Duck Race – Boylestone

7.30p.m. Concert by Sitwell Singers – Longford – Tickets £8-00
Next Sunday – Trinity 1
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton

9.30a.m. Family Communion – Boylestone

11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton

11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
Advance Notice
Saturday 12 July Summer Buffet – Thatched Farm Radbourne
Ticket £12-50 from J Pegram 01332-824507

We remember in our prayers

Today Myanmar (Burma) The Most Revd Stephen Than Myint Oo Archbishop of Myanmar and Bishop of Yangon
Chandigarh The Most Revd Younas Massey
Monday Derby – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Alastair Redfern

Derby – Repton – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Humphrey Southern
Loundsley Green Church of the Ascension Clergy: Peter Green, Diane Hare; Readers: George Lewis, Cyril Ilett
Tuesday Derry & Raphoe – (Armagh, Ireland) The Rt Revd Kenneth Raymond Good
Newbold St John the Evangelist Clergy: Nigel Johnson; Reader: H. Peet
Wednesday Diocese in Europe – (England) The Revd Canon Robert Inness

Suffragan Bishop of the Diocese in Europe – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd David Hamid

Europe – (II, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Pierre Whalon
North Wingfield Team Ministry Clergy: Richard Law,

Colin Cooper, Marcia Brown, Simon Bibby, Janet Fryman, Karen Hamblin; Readers: Margaret Tuck, David Simkins Kate Wills, Janet Leyland, Rowley Cooper, Jan Foster, Mark Ratcliffe, Gerald Wright, Authorised Lay Minister Margaret Limb
Thursday Eastern Kowloon – (Hong Kong) The Rt Revd Louis Tsui
Old Brampton St Peter and St Paul Clergy: Peter Green
Friday Diocese of the Free State (formerly Bloemfontein) – (Southern Africa) The Rt Revd Dintoe Letloenyane
Order of the Black Sheep Clergy: Mark Broomhead
Saturday Western Kowloon – (Hong Kong) The Rt Revd Andrew Chan
Walton St John Clergy: Brian Magorrian, Royston Smith, Karen Bradley; Readers: Eileen Balch, Sara Brown
Sunday Groaner

On the perils of ‘standing in’ for another vicar

The Rectory

St. James the Least

My dear Nephew Darren

You should not complain about doing duty in other churches when their clergy are on holiday. It is only in other churches that you will be appreciated. Beatification only comes from your own church on the day you leave – which is a way of firing a shot across the bows of your successor. I remember being greeted by a churchwarden on my first day here at St. James the Least with the encouraging words: ‘I’ve seen six Rectors of this parish; each one was worse than the last.’ As the years have gone by, I am sure I will have entirely fulfilled his expectations.

No; when you visit another church, you will be told all the many defects of their own vicar, and whatever you do will be praised. Store up these memories for the day you return to your own patch – when you will then be told how outstanding your own temporary replacement has been and how congregations thrived in your absence.

Naturally, this gives you the right to make similar remarks about your own congregation in the churches you visit. Unfavourable comparisons with the bell ringers, vergers and congregational singing in your home patch to the superb standards in the church you’re temporarily serving will be much appreciated. Just make sure that the church you are staffing is sufficiently far from your own that word will not get back to your home team.

It is a mistake I made only once. After filling in for a colleague, I happened to complement the choir on the singing of the anthem. Unknown to me, a tenor was the second cousin of my organist, who received a rather embellished story that I had compared my own choir back home unfavourably with theirs. On my return the following Sunday, all the hymns were played fortissimo and at double speed and the choir in rotation dropped hymn books throughout my sermon.

Inevitably, when you staff another church, you will be told: ‘It’s the normal Service.’ It will be nothing of the sort. Hymns will appear in unexpected places, Sunday schools will enter and leave (and enter again) apparently at random, objects will be brought to you to be read from, placed on the altar or blessed – just as you were about to try and find the pulpit. In any case, wherever you are standing, you will find you should have been standing somewhere else. But not to worry – most mistakes will be forgiven – provided your sermon is short.

So – enjoy your visits to other churches. And above all, make sure that your temporary replacement is so spectacularly incompetent that your own people will welcome you back with open arms on your return.

 

Your loving uncle,
Eustace

 The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

 

Readings Acts 2.1-21; 1 Corinthians 12.3b-13; John 20.19-23
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  – Pentecost
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion& Holy Baptism  – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
2.00p.m. Radbourne Fete at the Old Rectory
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
Tuesday  7.00p.m.Church Broughton PCC
Friday Longford Fete
Next Sunday – Trinity Sunday
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion  – Dalbury7.00p.m. Evensong
Advance Notice
Saturday 21st June
3.00p.m. Teddy Bear Parachuting – Church Broughton
5.00p.m. Midsummer Madness & Duck Race  – Boylestone
7.30p.m. Concert by Sitwell Singers – Longford – Tickets £8-00
Saturday 12th July Summer Buffet at Thatched Farm, Radbourne

Ticket £12-50 from Jenny Pegram (01332-824507)
We remember in our prayers
Today Mexico The Most Revd Francisco Moreno Presiding Bishop of La Iglesia Anglicana de Mexico & Bishop of Northern Mexico
Calcutta Ashoke Biswas
Monday Dallas – (VII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd James Stanton
Suffragan Bishop of Dallas – (VII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Paul Lambert
Dronsfield with Holmesfield Team Ministry Clergy: Peter Bold, William Eardley, Dick Dove, Ruth Turner; Readers: Angela Barrass, Tony Bethell, Barbara Hodd, Christine Williams;
Tuesday Damaturu – (Jos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Abiodun Ogunyemi
Great Barlow St Lawrence Clergy: Peter Green;
Wednesday Dar-es-Salaam – (Tanzania) The Rt Revd Valentino Mokiwa
Pray for all who quietly carry out the work of prayerful support and encouragement to our Clergy and lay
leadership teams.
Thursday  Davao – (Philippines) The Rt Revd Jonathan Casimina
Handley St Mark Clergy: Ralph Lawrence;
Friday  Delaware – (III, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Wayne Wright
Hasland in Plurality with Temple Normanton Clergy
:Malcolm Ainscough; Readers: Kay Duckett, Stephen WrightSaturday Delhi – (North India) The Rt Revd Sunil SinghHeath All Saints Clergy: Anette Love; Reader: Carolyn Szadura
Sunday Groaner
Telly trouble
A woman summoned a TV repairman to fix her set. After spreading his tools out, the serviceman inquired:
‘What seems to be the trouble?” Replied the woman: “Well, for one thing the programmes are appalling.”
You asked for it
The student, when asked by the teacher to write an essay on ‘The Effects of Laziness’, turned in a blank sheet of paper.
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com