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Monthly Archives: July 2014

Readings 1 Kings 3.5-12; Romans 8.26-39; Matthew 13.31-33,44-52
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  –  Trinity 6
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Family Communion – Boylestone9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong – Trusley
Monday 3.30p.m. Funeral of Barbara Ring – Long Lane
Saturday 11.30a.m. Wedding – Long Lane
Next Sunday – Trinity 7
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Service to mark 100th anniversary of the outbreak of World War 1 – Sutton
11.00a.m. Mattins -Trusley
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury & Holy Baptism
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today Rwanda The Most Revd Dr Onesphore Rwaje Archbishop & Bishop of Gasabo
Delhi Sunil K Singh
Monday El Camino Real – (VIII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Mary Gray-Reeves
Chaplaincy to Deaf People
Tuesday El Salvador – (Central America) The Rt Revd Martín De Jesús Barahona
Christian Parents
Wednesday Eldoret – (Kenya) The Rt Revd Thomas Kogo
Diocesan Advisers
Thursday El-Obeid – (Sudan) The Rt Revd Ismail Gibreil Abugigin
Holiday Clubs
Friday  Ely – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Stephen David Conway
Ely – Huntingdon – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd David Thomson
Out of School Clubs Saturday Embu – (Kenya) The Rt Revd Henry Kathii
Children and youth clubs
Sunday Groaner
Wrong water
A mother was watching her four year-old son playing outside in a small plastic pool half-filled with water. He was walking back and forth across the pool with an expression of great concentration on his face, and making big splashes. Suddenly, the little boy stopped, stepped out of the pool, and with a look of disgust, began to scoop water out of the pool with a pail. “What’s wrong, dear?” asked the mother.
“My teacher said Jesus walked on water, and this water doesn’t work,” he replied.
How prayer reaches God
An anxious mother went to seek help from her minister. “How do we know if our prayers are heard by God?” she asked. “My 10 year old daughter says her prayers every night, but I am not sure they are reaching heaven.” Touched by her worry, the minister spent some time explaining to her about God’s omniscience and omnipresence….but still the mother looked worried. Finally he asked her why she thought her daughter’s prayers would NOT be heard by God. The mother explained: “Because instead of saying ‘amen’, when she finishes, she says ‘click, send’.”
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

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Reading Isaiah 55.10-13; Romans 8.1-11; Matthew 13.1-9,18-23
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  –  Trinity 4
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
Wednesday Long Lane Fete
Thursday 2.00p.m. Church Broughton School Leavers’ Service
Saturday 2.00p.m. Wedding – Boylestone
Next Sunday – Trinity 5
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12 noon Holy Communion – Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today Papua New Guinea The Rt Revd Clyde Igara Archbishop of Papua New Guinea & Bishop of Dogura
Chotanagpur B B Baskey
Monday Easton – (III, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd James Shand
Seale and Lullington with Coton-in-the-Elms. Clergy:
Michael Yates, Andrea Sims, Fiona Ballentyne; Reader: Stella Greenwood
Tuesday Eau Claire – (V, The Episcopal Church) The Revd William Jay Lambert
Stapenhill, Immanuel. Clergy: Fiona Ballentyne; Reader:
Martin Collins
Wednesday   Edinburgh – (Scotland) The Rt Revd John ArmesStapenhill, St Peter. Clergy: Michael Andreyev; Readers: Lynn Chapman, Carolyn Willett
Thursday Edmonton – (Rupert’s Land, Canada) The Rt Revd Jane Alexander
Swadlincote, Emmanuel Clergy: Graham Rutter;
Readers: Val Clipson, Dawn Knight
Friday  Egba – (Lagos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Emmanuel Adekunle
Walton-on-Trent with Croxall, Rosliston with Linton and Castle Gresley Clergy: Fiona Ballentyne, Michael Yates
Saturday Egba West – (Lagos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Samuel Ajani Willington, St Michael Clergy: Sue Starkey

Sunday Groaner
Biblical Matters
Q.. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A.. Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A.. German Shepherds.
Q.. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A.. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Q.. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A.. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Zechariah 9.9-12; Romans 7.15-25a; Matthew 11.16-19,25-30
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Trinity 3
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion -Sutton
11.00a.m. Mattins – Trusley
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Monday 8.00p.m. Sutton PCC
Wednesday 9.15am (approx) School Flute Concert – Long Lane
2.30p.m. Consecration of Churchyard Extension – Church Broughton ALL WELCOME
Saturday 3.00p.m. Sutton Village Hall Tea
7.30p.m. Summer Buffet – Thatched Farm RadbourneTicket £12-50 from J Pegram 01332-824507
Next Sunday – Trinity 4
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
Advance Notice
Wednesday 16 July Long Lane Fete
We remember in our prayers
Today Pakistan (United) The Most Revd Samuel Robert Azariah Bishop of Raiwind & Moderator of the Church of Pakistan
Repton Deanery. Rural Dean: Graham Rutter, Lay Chair: Stephen Longden, Associate Priests David de Pomerai, Alison Redshaw
Monday East Ruwenzori – (Uganda) The Rt Revd Edward Bamucwanira
Hartshorne and Bretby Clergy: Michael Mookerji, Graham Rutter; Reader: Susan Ives-Smith
Tuesday East Tennessee – (IV, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd George D. Young
Findern All Saints Clergy: Sue Starkey; Reader: Jean White
Wednesday Eastern Himalayas -(North India)
Foremark and Repton with Newton Solney Clergy: Martin Flowerdew, June Scott; Readers: Ruth Attwood, Stephen Longden
Thursday Eastern Oregon – (VIII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Bavi Edna Rivera
Oregon – (VIII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Michael Hanley
Gresley, St George and St Mary Clergy: Michael Firbank; Readers: Jane Clamp, Pietje Carpenter, Steven Payne
Friday Eastern Newfoundland & Labrador – (Canada, Canada) The Rt Revd Cyrus Clement James Pitman
Hartshorne and Bretby Clergy: Michael Mookerji, Graham Rutter; Reader: Susan Ives-Smith
Saturday Eastern Zambia – (Central Africa) The Rt Revd William Mchombo
Newhall St John Clergy: Jo Whitehead
Sunday Groaner
School Test For a school exam, young children were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments.
These were some of the (real) results….
1. In the first book of the bible, Guinness, God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.
2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark and the animals came on in pears.
3. Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
5. Sampson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
7. Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.
9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
10. The seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
12. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.

The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com