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Monthly Archives: September 2014

Readings Ezekiel 18.1-4,25-32; Philippians 2.1-13; Matthew 21.23-32
or (Harvest) Deuteronomy 8.7-18; 2 Corinthians 9.6-15; Luke 12.16-30

NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  – Trinity 15 – Harvest Sutton,Long Lane & Trusley
8.00a.m.Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
11.00a.m. Harvest Family Service – Sutton
11.00a.m. Harvest Holy Communion – Long Lane
3.00p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Harvest Evensong -Trusley
Thursday
Peter Gould (Derby Cathedral Organist) will be visiting all our churches on his Organ pilgrimage beginning at Radbourne at 9.30a.m. Then on to Dalbury 10am; Trusley 10.30am; 11.00am Long Lane; Sutton 11.30am; Church Broughton 12noon; Boylestone 1.30pm and Longford 2.00pm. At each church he will play for about 15 minutes. A collection will be taken to be shared between the Cathedral music and a charity of our choice.Friday  7.00 Harvest Thanksgiving followed by harvest Supper – Boylestone
Next Sunday – Trinity 16 – Harvest Church Broughton & Longford
8.00a.m.Holy Communion -Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Harvest Holy Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m.  Evensong -Long Lane
Advance Notice
Saturday 11th October
7.30p.m. Harvest Organ Concert by David Wells & John Gould – Radbourne
Sunday 12th October
11.00a.m. Harvest Holy Communion – Radbourne
Friday 17th October
7.30p.m. Sutton Harvest Supper
Sunday 19th October
11.00a.m. Harvest Holy Communion – Dalbury
Friday 10th October
7.30p.m. Long Lane Harvest Supper – Wyaston Village HallTicket £8-00
Thursday 23rd October
Harvest Lunch – Laurel Farm Burnastonin aid of All Saints Dalbury
Wednesday 29th October
7.30p.m. An evening with Charles Hanson – Brailsford Institutein aid of St Andrew’s Radbourne.
Ticket £5-00 from Jennie Pegram 01332-824507
We remember in our prayers
Today  United States  The Most Revd Dr Katharine Jefferts Schori Presiding Bishop of TEC
Monday   Ideato – (Owerri, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Caleb Maduoma
Buxton Deanery Rural Dean: John Hudghton, Lay Chair: Christine McMullen
Tuesday  Idoani – (Ondo, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Ezekiel Dahunsi Michael and All Angels
Wednesday   Ife – (Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Oluwole Odubogun
Buxton Trinity Church Clergy: Robert Marsden, Paul Hancock;
Thursday  Ife East – (Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Oluseyi Oyelade
Buxton with Burbage and King Sterndale Team Ministry
Clergy: John Hudghton, Keith Cocking; Readers: Sheila Morris, John Wood, Michael Moore, John Cooper
Friday  Ifo – (Lagos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Nathaniel Oladejo Ogundipe
Chapel-en-le-Frith St Thomas Beckett
Saturday Igbomina – (Kwara, Nigeria) The Most Revd Michael Akinyemi
Igbomina – West – (Kwara, Nigeria) The Rt Revd James Akinola
Fairfield, St Peter: Clergy Carl Edwards; Reader Christine McMullenSunday Groaner
Hereafter
A vicar was talking to one of his parishioners. He said: “When you get to my age, you spend a lot more time thinking about the hereafter.”
“What do you say that?” enquired the parishioner.
The vicar replied: “Well, I often find myself going into a room and thinking: whatever did I come in here after?”
Church Bulletin notes that didn’t quite work
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’
The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
Ladies, don’t forget the jumble sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

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Readings Proverbs 3.13-18; 2 Corinthians 4.1-6; Matthew 9.9-13
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  Matthew the Apostle
8.00a.m.Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion -Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
6.30p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Friday 26th September 7.00 for 7.30p.m.
Longford Autumn Supper at Lees Village Hall
Steak Pie supper, Quiz  &  Magician
Ticket £10 from Mike Lenderyou (01335-330446
or from Margaret Foot
Saturday 27th September 7.30p.m. Evening of Music from the shows and Rat Pack by Cantata Tickets £7-50
Next Sunday – Trinity 15 – Harvest Sutton,Long Lane & Trusley
8.00a.m.Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
11.00a.m. Harvest Family Service – Sutton
11.00a.m. Harvest Holy Communion – Long Lane
3.00p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Harvest Evensong -TrusleyAdvance Notice
Thursday 2nd October
Peter Gould (Derby Cathedral Organist) will be visiting all our churches on his Organ pilgrimage beginning at Radbourne at 9.30a.m. Then on to Dalbury 10am; Trusley 10.30am; 11.00am Long Lane; Sutton 11.30am; Church Broughton 12noon; Boylestone 1.30pm and Longford 2.00pm. At each church he will play for about 15 minutes. A collection will be taken to be shared between the Cathedral music and a charity of our choice.
Friday 3rd October
7.00p.m. Boylestone Harvest Thanksgiving followed by Harvest Supper
Sunday 5th October
10am Harvest Thanksgiving – Church Broughton
11.15a.m. Harvest Thanksgiving – Longford
Saturday 11th October
7.30p.m. Harvest Organ Concert by David Wells & John Gould – Radbourne
Sunday 12th October
11.00a.m. Harvest Holy Communion – Radbourne
Friday 17th October
7.30p.m. Sutton Harvest Supper
Sunday 19th October
11.00a.m. Harvest Holy Communion – Dalbury
Friday 10th October
7.30p.m. Long Lane Harvest Supper – Wyaston Village HallTicket £8-00
Thursday 23rd October
Harvest Lunch – Laurel Farm Burnastonin aid of All Saints Dalbury
Wednesday 29th October
7.30p.m. An evening with Charles Hanson – Brailsford Institutein aid of St Andrew’s Radbourne.
Ticket £5-00 from Jennie Pegram 01332-824507
We remember in our prayers
Today  Uganda The Most Revd Stanley Ntagali Archbishop of Uganda & and Bishop of Kampala
Matthew, Apostle and Evangelist
Monday   Hyderabad – (Pakistan) The Rt Revd Kaleem John
School Chaplains. Rachel Barrett (Derby High School),
Adam Watkinson (Repton School), Nicholas Bailey (Foremarke Hall
Tuesday   Ibadan – (Ibadan, Nigeria) The Most Revd Joseph Akinfenwa
Ibadan North – (Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Dr Segun Okubadejo
University Chaplains Adam Dickens (University of Derby), Peter Hansell (Trent college)

Wednesday   Ibadan South – (Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Jacob Ajetunmobi
Industrial Mission
Diocesan Board of Education David Channon, Alison Brown, Alistair Langton, Sara Brown
Thursday Ibba – (Sudan) The Rt Revd Wilson Elisa Kamani
Derby Church Net
Friday  Idah – (Abuja, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Joseph Musa
Diocesan Communications Communications co-ordinator Lucy Harrison
Saturday  Idaho – (VIII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Brian Thom
Buxton Deanery Rural Dean: John Hudghton, Lay Chair: Christine McMullen
On the perils of Harvest
The Rectory
St. James the Least
My dear Nephew Darren
In the unlikely event of ever being put in charge of designing the course for those being trained for ordination, I would make a few significant changes. Modules on doctrine, Church history and Greek would all be dropped as unnecessary. In their place, I would add courses on how to run a tight jumble sale, ways to keep your church council in order – and especially close to my heart at present, how to negotiate Harvest.
The first skirmish starts in early Summer when it becomes clear that the flower arrangers’ plans mean that the choir would disappear behind a huge array of chrysanthemums. The choir then retaliate by announcing that their Harvest anthem must take place just when the Sunday School intended to re-enact the parable of the Good Samaritan. They, in turn, raise the stakes by insisting that a stage will be needed for their performance, thus ensuring that I will be separated from the congregation by an impenetrable barricade.
In September, therefore, there is the traditional meeting to iron out all these little difficulties. This inevitably results with the annual act of the verger handing in his resignation, of the bell ringers threatening a mass walk-out, and those who organise coffee afterwards demanding that my sermon lasts no more than 3 minutes, so there will be plenty of time for socialising after the Service.
I greet all suggestions with a spontaneous burst of indifference, smile, agree with it all – and do nothing (this, incidentally, is a good policy for all decision-making). Inevitably, everything goes ahead exactly as it has always done for the last century.
Come the day, there will be the usual arrangement of eggs round the font, with the strategically placed card saying “Given anonymously by Elsie Jones” and the pyramid of apples temptingly near the choirboys, so designed that when someone tries to pinch one during the sermon, the whole pile disintegrates as they roll all over the chancel.
On the following Friday, all will leave after the Harvest Supper saying that the entertainment was worse than the previous year and that the absence of red cabbage had quite ruined the hot pot. Everyone therefore has an enjoyable evening
My Harvest training course would be compulsory and a pass mark of 90% would be needed before ordination could be considered.
Your loving uncle,
Eustace
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings: Genesis 50.15-21; Romans 14.1-12; Matthew 18.21-35
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  – Trinity 13
8.30a.m.Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion -Radbourne
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
Next Sunday – Matthew the Apostle
8.00a.m.Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion -Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
6.30p.m. Evensong – Long LaneAdvance Notice
Friday 26th September 7.00 for 7.30p.m.
Longford Autumn Supper at Lees Village Hall
Steak Pie supper, Quiz  &  Magician
Ticket £10 from Mike Lenderyou (01335-330446
or from Margaret Foot
Saturday 27th SeptemberChurch Broughton 7.30p.m. Evening of Music from the shows and Rat Pack by Cantata Tickets £7-50
We remember in our prayers
Today   Tanzania The Most Revd Jacob Erasto Chimeledya Archbishop of Tanzania & Bishop of Mpwapwa
Holy Cross Day
Monday   Hereford – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Richard Frith
Hereford – Ludlow – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Alistair James Magowan
Hazelwood, Holbrook and Milford Clergy: David Railton; Reader: James Hinnells
Tuesday   Highveld – (Southern Africa) The Rt Revd David Bannerman
Kirk Langley and Mackworth and Mugginton & Kedleston Clergy: Alan Harper, Dawn Glen; Reader: Rosemary Harper
Wednesday   Ho (Ghana) – (West Africa) The Rt Revd Matthias Mededues-Badohu
Quarndon, St Paul Clergy: William Bates, Jill Needle;
Reader: Peter Frymann
Thursday   Honduras – (IX, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Lloyd Allen
Schools
Friday   Hpa-an – (Myanmar) The Rt Revd Saw Stylo
Universities
Saturday  Huron – (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd Robert Franklin Bennett
Suffragan Bishop of Huron – (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd Terrance Arthur Dance Teachers
Sunday Groaner
When all else fails
My friend and I delivered a large refrigerator to the local priest’s home. With difficulty we had managed to get the fridge into the porch, but struggled for over 20 minutes to make the 90-degree turn through the narrow door. The priest, seeing our difficulty, asked what we usually did when confronted with such a situation. Rubbing some badly skinned knuckles, I replied, “Well, Father, at this point we usually start swearing.”
“That’s fine, gentlemen,” Father replied, “just allow me time to move out of earshot, so you can continue your work.”
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Ezekiel 33.7-11; Romans 13.8-14; Matthew 18.15-20
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  – Trinity 12
8.00a.m.Holy Communion – Church Broughton9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Tuesday 9.00a.m. Coffee & Chat in church for parents of new pupils at Church Broughton School
7.30p.m. Long Lane PCC
Next Sunday – Trinity 13
8.30a.m.Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion -Radbourne
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
Advance Notice
Saturday 27th September 7.30p.m. Evening of Music from the shows and Rat Pack by Cantata Tickets £7-50
We remember in our prayers
Today    Sudan The Most Revd Dr Daniel Deng Bul Yak Archbishop of the Province of the Episcopal Church of South Sudan & Sudan & Bishop of Juba 
Duffield Deanery Rural Dean: Jonathan Page, Lay Chair: Richard Chapman
Monday   Gusau – (Kaduna, Nigeria) The Rt Revd John Garba
Allestree St Edmund and Darley Abbey Clergy: Christine
Dyer, Caroline Rhodes; Readers: G.Adlington, Bryan Cogley, R, Wragg, Deborah Simpson, Clive Lemmon, Melonie Hambly
Gwagwalada – (Abuja, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Tanimu Aduda
Tuesday   Guyana – (West Indies) The Rt Revd Cornell Moss
Allestree St Nicholas Clergy: William Bates, Jill Needle; Reader: Bryan Jones
Wednesday   Haiti – (II, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Jean Duracin
Suffragan Bishop of Haiti – (II, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Oge Beauvoir 
Ambergate with Heage Clergy: Valerie Hart; Reader: R. Taylor;
Thursday   Hanuato’o – (Melanesia) The Rt Revd Alfred Karibongi 
Belper Christ Church with
Turnditch Clergy: Jonathan Page, Alison Roome, Imogen Black; Readers: Anne-Louise Hodcroft, Eileen Hardy, Tony Winslade
Friday   Harare – (Central Africa) The Rt Revd Dr Chad Nicholas Gandiya  Belper, St Peter Clergy: Anne Stratton, April Tompkins; Readers: Jonathan Tillin, John Walker
Saturday  Hawaii – (VIII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Robert Fitzpatrick
Duffield and Little Eaton Clergy: Mark Pickles, David Barnsley; Reader: Richard LindopSunday Groaner
Back to school
Young James finished his summer holidays and went back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that James was misbehaving. “Wait a minute!” protested his mum. “I had him here for weeks and I never once called YOU when he misbehaved!”No tables
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your maths multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
Heaven?
My sister’s dog had been deaf and blind for years. When she started to suffer painful tumours, it was time to put her down. As I explained this to my seven-year-old son, he asked if Dotty would go to heaven. I said I thought she would, and that in dog heaven, she would be healthy again and able to do her favourite thing: chase squirrels. Jacob thought about that for a minute, then said, “So dog heaven must be the same as squirrel hell.”
First day back
It was the first day of school. As the Head made his rounds, he heard a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making the most noise. He seized the lad, dragged him to the hall, and despite his protests, told him to wait there until he was excused. Returning to the classroom, the Head restored order and lectured the class about the importance of good behavior. Now,” he said,” are there any questions?”
“One girl stood up timidly. “Please sir,” she asked, “May we have our teacher back?”
“Where is exactly is your teacher?”
“He’s in the hall, sir.”
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com