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Monthly Archives: November 2014

Reading Ezekiel 34.11-16,20-24; Ephesians 1.15-23; Matthew 25.31-46
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  – Christ the King
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Family Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communio – Longford
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
3.00p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong – Trusley
Saturday 1.00p.m. Christingle Fair – Church Broughton School
Next Sunday Advent Sunday
10.30a.m. United Service     – Church Broughton Methodist Church
6.30p.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
We remember in our prayers
Today   Spain (E-P to the Archbishop of Canterbury
The Reformed Episcopal Church of Spain – (Spain) The Rt Revd Carlos López-Lozano
Jabalpur Dr Prem Chand Singh
Monday  Kebbi – (Kaduna, Nigeria) The Most Revd Edmund Akanya
Normanton-by-Derby Clergy: Neil Barber, David Todd; Readers: Nigel Selby;
Tuesday  Keewatin – (Rupert’s Land, Canada) The Most Revd David Norman Ashdown
Sinfin Moor, Sinfin Moor Clergy: Susan McIvor
Wednesday Kentucky – (IV, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Terry White
Sinfin, St Stephen Clergy: Nigel Elliott; Readers: V. Shore
Thursday  Kericho – (Kenya) The Rt Revd Jackson Ole Sapit
Walbrook, Epiphany Team Ministry (Derby St Augustine, Derby St Chad, Derby St James, Derby St Thomas) Clergy: Andy Ward, Simon Cartwright, Patrick Douglas; Parish Sister: Sister Pippa, Reader: Louisa Wass Griffiths
Friday Khartoum – (Sudan) The Most Revd Ezekiel Kumir Kondo
Diocesan Office: Diocesan Secretary Maureen Cole, Office Manager: Kat Alldread and all who work in Church House
Saturday   Kibondo – (Tanzania)
Andrew the Apostle
Sunday Groaner
God bless
Thora Hird told this story on a BBC1 programme ‘Praise Be’ about a little girl saying her prayers: “God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, God bless my brother Tommy, God bless Granny – and God look after yourself, ‘cos if anything happens to you, we’ve had it!”
Sin
A very earnest member of the local church was praising the obvious spiritual gifts of the new vicar, adding, “We never knew anything about sin until he came.”
Keeping away from nicotine
An elderly minister read about experiments showing that tar and nicotine causes cancer in mice. Deeply moved, he went down to his study at once, and moved all of his pipe tobacco to the top shelf, where the mice could not reach it.
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

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Readings Zephaniah 1.7,12-18; 1 Thessalonians 5.1-11; Matthew 25.14-30 
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – 2nd before Advent
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
2.30p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Friday 9.15am School Service – Church Broughton
Next Sunday – next before Advent – Christ the King
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Family Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
3.00p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong – Trusley
We remember in our prayers
Today Lusitanian Church – (Portugal) The Rt Revd José Jorge De Pina Cabral
Derby South Deanery Rural Dean: Andy Ward, Lay Chair: Peter Vincent
Monday Karimnagar – (South India) Vacant
Blagreaves, St Andrew Clergy: Paul Bysouth
Tuesday Karnataka Central – (South India) Vacant Karnataka North – (South India) The Rt Revd Ravikumar J. Niranjan
Derby, St Bartholomew Clergy: Theo Holmes
Wednesday Karnataka South – (South India) The Rt Revd Dr John Sadananda
Derby, St Peter and Christ Church with Holy Trinity Clergy: Paul Morris, Anita Matthews; Readers: Margaret Phypers, Tim Benson, Geoff Holland
Thursday Katakwa – (Kenya) The Rt Revd Zakayo Epusi
Littleover, St Peter (including Haven Christian Centre) Clergy: Alicia Dring, Roger Gray; Readers: Carol Dickinson, Paul Taylor, Phillip Rollinson
Friday Katanga – (Congo) The Rt Revd Muno Kasima
Mickleover, All Saints Clergy: Peter Walley, Mary Staunton, Phyllis Bainbridge, Alun Rowlands, Paul Pritchard; Readers: Helen Walley; Saturday Katsina – (Kaduna, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Jonathan Bamaiyi
Mickleover, St John the Evangelist Clergy: Peter Walley, Alun Rowlands, Phyllis Bainbridge, Paul Pritchard; Readers: Joy Andrews;
Sunday Groaner
God bless
Thora Hird told this story on a BBC1 programme ‘Praise Be’ about a little girl saying her prayers: “God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, God bless my brother Tommy, God bless Granny – and God look after yourself, ‘cos if anything happens to you, we’ve had it!”
OK to Pray
Poster in a public school in South Pasadena, California: “In the event of atomic attack, the rule prohibiting prayer in school will be temporarily suspended.”
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Wisdom of Solomon 6.12-16; 1 Thessalonians 4.13-18; Matthew 25.1-13
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  – Remembrance Sunday
8.30a.m. Holy Communion & Remembrance – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion & Remembrance – Church Broughton
10.55a.m. Remembrance Service – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion & Remembrance – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Holy Communion & Remembrance – Trusley
5.00p.m.  Holy Communion & Remembrance – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong & Remembrance  – Longford
Next Sunday – 2nd before Advent
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
2.30p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Tuesday10.45a.m. Remembrance Service with Long Lane School – Long Lane
Thursday 1.45a.m. Funeral opf Louise Coast-Smith
– Church Broughton
Saturday 7.30p.m. Quiz Evening – Boylestone
We remember in our prayers
Today  Bermuda (Extra-Provincial to Canterbury)The Rt Revd Nicholas Dill
Gujurat Silvan S Christian
Monday  Kajo Keji – (Sudan) The Rt Revd Anthony Poggo Dangasuk
Spondon, St Werburgh Clergy: Julian Hollywell, Eleanor Berry
Tuesday   The Most Revd Stanley Ntagali Archbishop of Uganda & and Bishop of Kampala
Assistant Bishop of Kampala – (Uganda) The Rt Revd Hannington Mutebi
Armistice Day
Wednesday  Kano – (Kaduna, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Zakka Nyam
Military Chaplains
Thursday  Kansas – (VII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Dean Wolfe
Church Lads and Church Girls Brigade: Diocesan organiser Mrs G. Smith, Development Officer Tracey Smith-Lowe
Friday  Karachi – (Pakistan) The Rt Revd Saddiq Daniel
Derbyshire Scouts: County Chaplain Ralph Lawrence, County Commissioner Tom Stoddard
Saturday  Karamoja – (Uganda) The Rt Revd Joseph Abura
Derby Anglican Cursillo Spiritual Director Sally Mason, Lay Director Robert Sainsbury
Sunday Groaner
Rude parrot
A minister had been left a parrot in the Will of a member of his congregation, and soon regretted it: the bird was very rude to anyone in the congregation who dropped by the parsonage. Finally in exasperation the minister warned the parrot he would take drastic action if he did not behave. When the parrot reduced the next visitor to tears, the minister grabbed him and stuffed him into the fridge for five minutes while he apologised to the visitor, and saw her out.
When he took the parrot out five minutes later, the bird was transformed. ‘I am just so sorry. I was completely out of order. I promise I will never be rude to anyone again.’ The minister was happily astonished, and put the bird back into his cage. He was about to go back to work when the parrot coughed politely and ventured: “Mind if I ask something? When I was in the fridge just now, I wondered: what had that chicken done?”
Carried
Two drunks were hoping to travel on the London Underground late at night when they reached the top of the escalator and saw the sign which decrees: ‘Dogs Must Be Carried’. “Botheration,” one of them muttered in dismay. “Where on earth can we find two dogs at this time of night?”
Milky sermon
A Somerset parish magazine told how ministers from the Welsh valleys were distressing the older members of the Chapel by the length of their sermons. On one occasion an elderly man greeted the minister: “And what is the subject of your sermon this morning?”
“The milk of human kindness,” replied the minister.
“Ah,” the old man mused a moment. “Condensed, I hope?”
(From Peterborough in The Daily Telegraph)
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com