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Monthly Archives: January 2015

Readings Malachi 3.1-5; Hebrews 2.14-18; Luke 2.22-40
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today Presentation of Christ in the Temple
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Saturday Big Breakfast – Boylestone
Next Sunday – 2nd Sunday before Lent
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. SAID Evensong – Longford
We remember in our prayers
Today  Luwero – (Uganda) The Revd Canon Eridard Kironde Nsubuga
Heanor Deanery Rural Dean: Karen Padley, Lay Chair: Bob Moon
Monday   Lweru – (Tanzania) The Rt Revd Jackton Yeremiah Lugumira
Pray for all children’s clubs and groups and those working to bring the Gospel to our children
Tuesday Machakos – (Kenya) The Rt Revd Joseph Mutungi
Codnor, St James Clergy: Christopher Holden, Martin Jones; Readers: Jane Holden, Margaret Tadman;
Wednesday  Madhya Ker
Thursday  Madi & West Nile – (Uganda) The Rt Revd Dr Joel Obetia
Horsley and Denby Clergy: Christopher Holden, Martin Jones; Readers: Terry Welch, Ann Swales;
Friday Madurai-Ramnad – (South India) The Rt Revd Marialouis Josep uf
Horsley Woodhouse, St Susanna Clergy Christopher Holden, Martin Jones
Saturday Mahajanga – (Indian Ocean) The Rt Revd Jean Claude Andrianjafimanana
Langley Mill, St Andrew Clergy Helen Penfold, Reader A J Whysal
Sunday Groaner
Answer to prayer
A small boy badly wanted a baby brother, so his dad suggested he pray every night for one. The boy prayed earnestly, night after night, but his prayers seemingly weren’t answered. So after a few weeks, he didn’t bother to ask anymore.
Some months later, his dad said they were going to see Mum in the hospital and he was going to get a big surprise. When they got to the room, the little boy saw his mother holding two babies. The little boy stood still for a moment, and then cautiously observed: “It’s a good thing I stopped praying when I did.”
Seen in a church pewsheet:
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a crèche downstairs.
Next Friday the church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. Do come along!
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

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Readings 1 Samuel 3.1-10 (11-20; Revelation 5.1-10; John 1.43-51
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today –  Epiphany 28.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
2.30p.m. Evensong & Holy Baptism- Long Lane
Tuesday 7.30p.m. Long Lane PCCWednesday
7.00p.m. Longford PCC
Thursday 7.30p.m. Benefice meeting with Jane Legh – Sutton Village Hall
Saturday 11a.m. Wedding Radbourne
Next Sunday – Conversion of St Paul
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
|11.00a.m. Family service – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
3.00p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong Trusley
We remember in our prayers
Today Week of Prayer for Christian Unity
London – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd & Rt Hon Richard John Carew Chartres
London – Edmonton – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Peter William Wheatley
London – Fulham – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Jonathan Mark Richard Baker
London – Kensington – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Paul Gavin Williams
London – Stepney – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Adrian Newman
London – Willesden – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Peter Allan Broadbent Monday Lincoln – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Christopher Lowson
Monday Lincoln – Grantham – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Timothy William Ellis
Lincoln – Grimsby – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd David Eric Court
Long Eaton,St Laurence Clergy:Roger Jupp. Peter  Bolton;
Tuesday  Litoral Ecuador – (IX, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Alfredo Morante
Ockbrook with Borrowash, All Saints. Clergy: Tim Sumpter, Val Billings; Readers: Robert Russell, ike Allen;
Wednesday  Liverpool – (York, England) The Rt Revd Paul Bayes
Liverpool – Warrington – (York, England) The Rt Revd Richard Finn Blackburn
Sandiacre, St Giles Clergy: Olaf Trelenberg, Ken Johnson;
Thursday   The Most Revd Dr Barry Morgan Archbishop of Wales & Bishop of Llandaff
Assistant Bishop of Llandaff – (Wales) The Rt Revd David Wilbourne
Sawley, All Saints Clergy: Tony Street; Readers: Rosemary Moakes, Richard Henderson-Smith,
Friday  Lokoja – (Lokoja, Nigeria) The Most Revd Emmanuel Sokowamju Egbunu
Stanton-by-Dale with Dale Abbey and Risley Clergy: Glyn
Lucas; Readers: Ralph Homer, Edward Lester, Rachel Hobbs;
Saturday  Limerick & Killaloe – (Dublin, Ireland) The Revd Canon Kenneth Kearon
West Hallam and Mapperley with Stanley. Clergy: Gillian
Turner-Callis, Ingrid Owen-Jones, Richard Styles; Reader: Janice Hutchinson;
Sunday Groaner
Bible
A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly, “I now know what the Bible means!” His father smiled and asked him to explain. “It’s easy. It stands for Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.”
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Genesis 1.1-5; Acts 19.1-7; Mark 1.4-11
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today –  Baptism of Christ
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. SAID Evensong – Longford
Monday 7.30p.m. Boylestone PCC
Next Sunday – Epiphany 2
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
2.30p.m. Evensong & Holy Baptism- Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today Langtang – (Jos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Stanley Fube
Erewash Deanery. Rural Dean Peter Davey, Lay Chair Brian Parker
Monday  Lebombo – (Southern Africa) The Very Revd Carlos Simao Matsinhe
Cotmanhay and Shipley, Christ Church Clergy: Peter Davey; Reader: Barbara Clayton;
Tuesday  Leicester – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Timothy John Stevens
Assistant Bishop in the Diocese of Leicester – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Christopher John Boyle
Ilkeston, Holy Trinity. Clergy: Roger Jupp, Peter Bolton
Wednesday Lesotho – (Southern Africa) The Rt Revd Adam Mallane Taaso
Ilkeston, St John the Evangelist
Thursday  Lexington – (IV, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Douglas Hahn
Ilkeston, St Mary the Virgin Clergy: Michael Petitt;
Readers: Andrea Swarbrick, David Beecroft;
Friday  Liberia – (West Africa) The Rt Revd Dr Jonathan Bau-Bau Bonaparte Hart
Kirk Hallam, All Saints Clergy: Christine French, Rachel
Thompson
Saturday Lichfield – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Jonathan Michael Gledhill
Lichfield – Shrewsbury – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Mark James Rylands
Lichfield – Stafford – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Geoffrey Peter Annas
Lichfield – Wolverhampton – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Clive Gregory
Long Eaton, St John Clergy: Philip Waller, Rachel
Hawkins; Reader: Sarah Ray
Sunday Groaner
On the importance of NOT keeping accurate minutes
The Rectory
St. James the Least
My dear Nephew Darren
Since you were the one to ask this parishioner of yours to act as secretary, you have no reason to complain about the minutes of meetings she produces. You should never let anyone act as a secretary unless they either cannot speak English, or are deaf – preferably both. The more significant the committee and the more contentious the issues being debated, the more you should nobly put yourself forward both to chair the meeting and take the minutes. In the majority of cases, that will spare the other members that awkward moment when you ask for a volunteer and they all feel the need to stare at their feet.
If you act as secretary, then you can be certain that accounts of what took place will only be what you had wanted to happen and that the decisions taken will be what you had already decided before discussions started. Any inconvenient observations from other committee members can be omitted entirely.
Admittedly, the more observant may notice that your accounts of the meeting may not wholly agree with their recollections, but the skill of being a secretary is not to produce the minutes of the previous meeting until the day before the next one. This will mean that the great majority will have long forgotten what actually did happen two months previously and that many will not have had the time to read them anyway and will avoid having to admit that fact by passing them.
Only the deeply committed will want to pursue apparent discrepancies. In that case, confess to the meeting that your hand-written notes were accidentally left on a bus and so you can no longer check the accuracy of what you have written. As a way of appearing helpful, you could even give the person challenging you the bus route number and time of day you travelled – but make sure that that route has subsequently been discontinued. Further challenges will rally the rest of the committee to your side and someone will oil the wheels by suggesting you proceed to the next item on the agenda. Since you are also the chairman, you naturally bow to their request.
Just in the way that church rotas bear no resemblance to the people who actually turn up to do the jobs, minutes of meetings need not bear too much resemblance to what actually happened – especially if what did happen is inconvenient.
Democracy is all very well – provided a benign dictator is in overall control.
Your loving uncle,
Eustace
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Isaiah 60.1-6; Ephesians 3.1-12; Matthew 2.1-12
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today –  Kept as Epiphany
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Tuesday 7.30p.m. Churvch Broughton PCC
Wednesday 12noon Funeral of Mrs Jill Chandos-Pole – Radbourne
Friday 1.15p.m. Funeral of Mr Redfern – Church Broughton
Saturday Annual District Meeting & Service  of Central District of Derby Diocesan Association of Church Bell Ringers preceded by ringing at Radbourne and Church Broughton
Next Sunday – Baptism of Christ
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. SAID Evensong – Longford
We remember in our prayers
Today Lagos West – (Lagos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd James Odedeji
Lagos Mainland – (Lagos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Adebayo Akinde
Provincial Episcopal Visitor, Bishop of Ebbsfleet  Jonathan Goodall
Monday Lahore – (Pakistan) The Rt Revd Irfan Jamil
Archbishops. Justin Welby, John Sentamu
Tuesday  Epiphany
Travellers and pilgrims,
Wednesday Lainya – (Sudan) The Rt Revd Peter Amidi Pitia
Honorary Assistant Bishops Jack Nicholls, Richard Inwood
Thursday  Lake Malawi – (Central Africa) The Rt Revd Francis Kaulanda
The Dean of Derby. John Davies
Friday  Lake Rukwa – (Tanzania) The Rt Revd Mathayo Kasagara
Archdeacons. Christopher Cunliffe, Christine Wilson
Saturday Lango – (Uganda) The Rt Revd John Charles Odurkami
Diocesan Synod. Chair of house of Clergy- Peter Davey,
Chair of house of Laity – Christine McMullen
Sunday Groaner
In place of cabbage
A woman confided in her minister that when she sent her husband to buy a cabbage for lunch, he had fallen and broken his leg. “That’s terrible!” said the minister. “What did you do?”
“I opened a can of peas”, she replied.
What’s wrong with the car?
“The car won’t start,” said a wife to her husband. “I think there’s water in the carburettor.”
Her husband scoffed and pointed out that she did not even know what the carburettor was.
“I’m telling you,” repeated the wife, “I’m sure there’s water in the carburettor.”
The husband was very dubious. “We’ll see. Where’s the car?”
“In the swimming pool.”
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com