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Monthly Archives: February 2015

Readings Genesis 17.1-7,15-16; Romans 4.13-25; Mark 8.31-38
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Lent 2
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m., Family Service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Mattins – Trusley
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Wednesday 7.30p.m. Lenten Meeting in the Vicarage
Saturday 10.15a.m. Big Breakfast – Boylestone
Next Sunday Lent 3
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. SAID Evensong – Longford
We remember in our prayers
Today   Mbale – (Uganda) The Rt Revd Patrick Gidudu
Sambalpur Pinuel Dip
Monday Mbamili – (Niger, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Henry Okeke
Melbourne, Ticknall, Smisby and Stanton-by-Bridge Clergy: Mark Powell, Angela Plummer, Alan Flintham; Readers: Nicholas Gravestock, David Edwards
Tuesday   Mbeere – (Kenya) The Rt Revd Moses Nthuka
Fresh Expressions.Wednesday    Mbhashe – (Southern Africa) The Rt Revd Elliot Williams
Royal School of Church Music
Thursday    Meath & Kildare – (Dublin, Ireland) The Rt Revd Patricia Louise Storey
Bell Ringers.
Friday     Medak – (South India) Vacant
Local Newspapers.
Saturday   The Most Revd Philip Leslie Freier Archbishop of Melbourne & Primate elect of Australia
Melbourne – Eastern Region – (Victoria, Australia) The Rt Revd Barbara Darling
Melbourne – Northern & Western Region – (Victoria, Australia) The Rt Revd Philip Huggins
Melbourne – Southern Region – (Victoria, Australia) The Rt Revd Paul White
Local Radio Stations
Sunday Groaner
Moses and climate change
When Moses went up the mountain one day to meet with God, the Lord said he had both good news and bad news for him. Moses asked, “What’s the good news?”
God replies, “Moses, I shall visit plagues upon the Egyptians. I shall cause their rivers to run red with blood. I shall cause frogs to infest their houses, and lice to infest their bodies. I shall cause flies to swarm upon them. Their cattle shall die; boils will infect both man and beast. I shall cause hail to destroy their crops; and locusts shall devour anything green that is left in their land. Darkness will cover their land for three days and nights. I shall then lead you through the wilderness as a pillar of cloud by day, and pillar of fire by night. I shall split the waters of the sea. I shall feed you with Manna that forms upon the ground until the children of Israel reach the Land flowing with milk and honey.”
Moses replied, “That’s GREAT, Lord! What could possibly be the bad news?”
“You, Moses, shall write the Environmental Impact Statement.”
Missing socks in your life
What does it mean when all the socks in your laundry match, with none left over?
You’re now losing them in pairs!
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

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Readings Genesis 9.8-17; 1 Peter 3.18-22; Mark 1.9-15
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Lent 1
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
3.00p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong – Trusley
Wednesday 7.30p.m. Lenten Meeting in the Vicarage
Next Sunday Lent 2
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m., Family Service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Mattins – Trusley
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long LaneWe remember in our prayers
Today   Maseno North – (Kenya) The Rt Revd Simon Oketch
Maseno South – (Kenya) The Rt Revd Francis Abiero
Melbourne Deanery
Rural Dean:Tony Luke, Lay Chair: M.E. Evadne Robbins
Monday    Maseno West – (Kenya) The Rt Revd Joseph Wasonga
Allenton and Shelton Lock, St Edmund Clergy: Trudie Morris, Asst Deacon Maureen Demler;
Tuesday    Masindi-Kitara – (Uganda) The Rt Revd George Kasangaki Alvaston, St Michael and All Angels Clergy: Colin Pearson
Wednesday     Massachusetts – (I, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Alan McIntosh Gates
Bishop Suffragan of Massachusetts – (I, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Gayle Harris
Western Massachusetts – (I, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Douglas Fisher
Aston on Trent, Elvaston, Weston on Trent and Shardlow, Barrow upon Trent with Twyford and Swarkestone
Clergy: Tony Luke, Paul Hygate; Readers: Suzanne Williams, Alan Winfield, Bruce Ward
Thursday    Masvingo – (Central Africa) The Rt Revd Godfrey Tawonezwi
Matabeleland – (Central Africa) The Rt Revd Cleophas Lunga
Boulton, St Mary Clergy: Nicholas Gurney; Readers: David Rawlings, Susan Duffill, Cheryl Baxter, Marie Hall, Celia Walters
Friday  Matlosane (formerly Klerksdorp) – (Southern Africa) The Rt Revd Stephen Diseko
Chellaston, St Peter Clergy: Jane (BJ) Facey; Readers: Amanda Sandland, Rachel Harrison, Lesley Nelson
Saturday  Mbaise – (Nigeria) The Rt Revd Chamberlain Chinedu Ogunedo
Derby, St Andrew with St Osmund Clergy: Trudie Morris, Asst Deacon Maureen Demler
Sunday Groaner
On the peculiarities of ordination candidates
The Rectory
St. James the Least
My dear Nephew Darren
I was quite happy to see the young person from your church whom you are encouraging to get ordained – even though we did not entirely see eye to eye.
When I answered the door to someone dressed in T-shirt, jeans and trainers, I naturally assumed he was the gardener; it was only after I had given him the wheelbarrow and shown him where the spades were, that I found out who he really was. His assurance that this is how Jesus would dress, were he to visit in person again, jarred somewhat. I think that a three-piece suit and stout pair of brogues would be far more likely. We agreed to differ.
I moved on to ask him about the Sunday Services he attended and was interested to hear that he was a church musician. Wanting to know if he sang tenor or bass, or even played the organ, he told me that he was the drummer in the worship band and provided backing vocals. I felt obliged to comment that I was not sure how that would fit in with Mattins, but he told me that he had never heard of that Service and only attended Mega Rock Praise. Since I suspected it would not have been written by Cranmer, we moved on.
I had hoped we may have been on safer ground when I asked him whether he preferred early perpendicular or Victorian gothic, but as he had apparently only ever worshipped in your converted cinema, he was unable to offer any opinion. His reaction to my offer to show him round our late Norman church, prompted him to tell me that he believed all churches should be closed and people should gather in each other’s homes, like the early Christians.
In a last despairing attempt to find common ground I asked him if he had ever preached. He was slightly apologetic to admit that he had done so very rarely, as he found it took such a long time to write an hour-long sermon. When I mentioned that I did not think I had ever exceeded eight minutes in my entire life, he gave me such a look of withering astonishment that with heroic Christian charity, I did not beat him over the head with the Bible he was carrying.
Your loving uncle,
Eustace
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Proverbs 8.1,22-31; Colossians 1.15-20; John 1.1-14
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – 2nd Sunday before Lent
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. SAID Evensong – Longford
Wednesday 7.30p.m. Deanery Synod Egginton
Next Sunday – Sunday next before Lent
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
2.30p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today  Maiduguri – (Jos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Emmanuel Kana ManiRajasthan Warris K Masih
Monday   Maine – (I, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Stephen Lane
Loscoe, St Luke Clergy: Christopher Holden, Martin Jones; Readers: M.J. Cuttell, Judith Neal;
Tuesday  Makamba – (Burundi) The Rt Revd Martin Nyaboho
Marlpool and Aldercar Clergy: Karen Padley, Jane Lyon; Reader: Steve Rogers;
Wednesday   Makurdi – (Abuja, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Nathan Nyitar Inyom
Morley and Smalley Clergy: Lisa Shemilt; Readers: Jan Walker, Judith Neal, M. Haywood;
Thursday  Malaita – (Melanesia) The Rt Revd Samuel Sahu
Assistant Bishop of Malaita – (Melanesia) The Rt Revd Alfred Hou Ripley, All Saints Clergy: John Wigram; Readers: Jonathan Holt, Dawn Holt, Marian Brookes, Ann Bedford, Jennifer Brearley;
Friday Malakal – (Sudan) The Rt Revd Hilary Garang Deng
Malakal – Bentiu Area – (Sudan) The Rt Revd John Gattek
Anglican Communion Anglican unity in the diversity of the Communion, Anglican Consultative Council, Primate’s meeting
Saturday Manchester – (York, England) The Rt Revd David Walker
Manchester – Bolton – (York, England) The Rt Revd Christopher Paul Edmondson
Manchester – Middleton – (York, England) The Rt Revd Mark Davies
Inter-faith relationships
Sunday Groaner
On the perils of parking near church
The Rectory
St. James the Least
My dear Nephew Darren
I cannot be wholly sympathetic because your church car park is now inadequate, only having space for 100 cars. Your solution of advising members of the congregation to park in the adjoining supermarket car park may not have been wise. The maximum time people can stop there is 90 minutes, and as your sermons alone often reach that length, returning to find their cars clamped may not make you universally popular – although it may give your congregation the opportunity of practising Christian forgiveness.
Since the medieval architect who built St. James the Least was not overly concerned with car parking, the only space we have is along the road by the church. Inevitably, it gets blocked, which causes us all immense satisfaction when those not attending church but intending to have a morning shopping, find themselves unable to get out of the village until Mattins is over.
I did once encourage people to walk to church across the fields, but when the present Earl of Stowe started to get his staff to lay waterproof sheeting along the paths so he could avoid getting mud on his shoes, I decided the idea was best dropped.
For most, the inconvenience of parking only makes attending church more of a pleasurable challenge; we so enjoy having something to complain about. Major Hastings, however, who has complained endlessly about parking problems, made a point last Christmas by leaving his car in the middle of the vicarage lawn. I was so pleased he happened to park just where I had had a garden pond filled in only the previous week. He returned to find that the car had sunk up the windscreen and needed a crane to remove it. And it would have made a charming garden feature; I could even picture it with garden gnomes on its roof.
For weddings, a farmer allows us to use the field adjoining the church. While he rarely attends church on Sundays, he is always there the week before – I suspect praying for heavy rain, so he can make a fortune charging to tow out with his tractor those who have got stuck. Perhaps the greatest act of witness your church could perform would be to get everyone attending church to park on the ring road, bringing the entire town to a halt until your three hour Sunday morning Service is over.
Your loving Uncle Eustace
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com