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Monthly Archives: May 2015

Readings Isaiah 6.1-8; Romans 8.12-17; John 3.1-17
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Trinity Sunday
10.30a.m. United Service – Boylestone Methodist Church
6.30p.m. Holy Communion (said) – Church Broughton
Saturday
1.30p.m. Long Lane School Fair
4.00p.m. Wedding – Longford
Next Sunday – Trinity 1
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
2.00p.m. Radbourne Fete -at Radbourne Hall
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Advance Notice
Friday 12th June 6.30p.m. Longford Fete
Saturday 13th June 4.00p.m. Teddy Parachuting – Church BroughtonFriday 19th June
Long Lane Singers – There will be a concert in Brailsford Institute on 19th June starting at 7.30 pm  This will include a selection of well-known pieces for your entertainment and light refreshments will be provided.
Tickets are £5 (including refreshments) and are available from choir members or at the door.
Proceeds from the event will be donated to the Air Ambulance charity. We remember in our prayers
Today Pray for the work of the Anglican Centre in Rome
Nova Scotia & Prince Edward Island – (Canada, Canada) The Rt Revd Ronald Wayne Cutler
The Visit of the Blessed Virgin Mary to Elizabeth. Pray for all pregnant mothers and those who care for them including gynaecologists, midwives & health visitors
Monday    Northwestern Pennsylvania – (III, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Sean Rowe
Pennsylvania – (III, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Clifton Daniel
East Scarsdale Team Ministry Clergy:John Draycott,
June Palmer, Karen Bradley; Readers: Edna Bevan, Keith Bingley
Tuesday    Norwich – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Graham James
Norwich – Lynn – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Jonathan Meyrick
Norwich – Thetford – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Alan Peter Winton
Eckington and Ridgeway Clergy:Ian Price, Sandra
Marshall (Methodist Minister)
Wednesday    Nsukka – (Enugu, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Aloysius Agbo
Elmton St Peter Clergy: Vacant; Reader: Lynne Parker
Thursday    Nyahururu – (Kenya) The Rt Revd Stephen Kabora
Nyahururu – Maralal Area – (Kenya) The Rt Revd Jacob Lesuuda
Killamarsh St Giles Clergy: Helen Guest, Michael
Guest; Readers: John L. Hall, Christine Beach
Friday   Offa – (Kwara, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Akintunde Popoola
Ogbaru – (Niger, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Samuel Ezeofor
Staveley and Barrow Hill Team Ministry Clergy: Stephen Jones, Adrian Arnold
Saturday     Ogbia – (Niger Delta, Nigeria) The Rt Revd James Oruwori
Whitwell St Lawrence Clergy: Vacant; Reader: Lynne
Parker
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

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Lead Theft
Last week the lead was stolen from the Chance roof of St Andrew’s, Radbourne. The thieves have been active in the area recently. If you see any suspicious activity around any of our churches (or elsewhere) please contact the police and/or the Rector and churchwardens and take details of any vehicles.
Readings Acts 2.1-21; Romans 8.22-27; John 15.26-27; 16.4b-15
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Pentecost
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion  – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service _ Sutton
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong – Trusley
Friday 10.30a.m. Funeral of Ken Kelsey – Church Broughton
Saturday
10.30a.m. – 4.00p.m. Bellringing openday – Church Broughton
Come and learn about bellringing and even have a go!
4.00p.m. -11.00p.m. Duck Race and Social Evening – Boylestone
Next Sunday – Trinity Sunday
10.30a.m. United Service – Boylestone Methodist Church
6.30p.m. Holy Communion (said) – Church Broughton
Advance Notice
Saturday 6th June Long Lane School Fair
Sunday 7th June 2.00p.m. Radbourne Fete -at Radbourne Hall
Friday 12th June 6.30p.m. Longford Fete
Saturday 13th June 4.00p.m. Teddy Parachuting – Church Bropughton
We remember in our prayers
Today  Northern Luzon – (Philippines) Vacant
Bolsover and Staveley Deanery Rural Dean Helen
Guest, Lay Chair Christine Holmes-Elener
Monday   Northern Malawi – (Central Africa) The Rt Revd Fanuel Emmanuel Magangani
Southern Malawi – (Central Africa) The Rt Revd Alinafe Kalemba Ault Hucknall and Scarcliffe Clergy: Vacant
Tuesday    ;Northern Michigan – (VI, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Rayford Ray
Barlborough and Renishaw Clergy: Stephen Short, Helen Guest, Michael Guest; Reader: Christine Beach
Wednesday    Northern Philippines – (Philippines) The Rt Revd Brent Alawas
Suffragan Bishop of the Northern Philippines – (Philippines) The Rt Revd Miguel Yamoyam
Bolsover St Mary and St Laurence. Clergy: Rachel Gouldthorpe; Reader: Andrew Yeomans
Thursday   Northern Territory, The – (Queensland, Australia) The Rt Revd Greg Anderson Brimington St Michael and All Angels Clergy: Daniel Cooke
Friday  Northern Uganda – (Uganda) The Rt Revd Johnson Gakumba
Calow and Sutton-cum- Duckmanton. Clergy: Kevin Ball
Saturday     Northwest Texas – (VIII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Scott Mayer
Texas – (VIII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Andrew Doyle
Suffragan Bishop of Texas – (IX, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Jeff Fisher
Suffragan Bishop of Texas – (VIII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Dena Harrison
Clowne St John the Baptist Clergy: Stephen Short
Sunday Groaner
Mark
When the late Dean of York was asked why he called his stumpy-tailed fox terrier ‘Mark’, he explained: “The New Testament contains the life-stories of our Lord by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Mark’s is the shortest tale!”
Night-time
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark, to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?Fire
There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London, but it was put out before any serious good was done. Ronnie Corbett
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Lead Theft
Last Tuesday night/Wednesday the lead was stolen from the Chance roof of St Andrew’s, Radbourne. The thieves have been active in the area recently. If you see any suspicious activity around any of our churches (or elsewhere) please contact the police and/or the Rector and churchwardens and take details of any vehicles.

ReadingsActs 1.15-17,21-26; 1 John 5.9-13; John 17.6-19
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – 7th Sunday of Easter

8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service & Holy Baptism – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12.15p.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Thursday 2.30p.m. School Service – Longford
Next Sunday – Pentecost
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion  – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service _ Sutton
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong – Trusley

We remember in our prayers
Today  North Eastern Caribbean & Aruba – (West Indies) The Rt Revd Leroy Brooks
Bombay. Prakash D Patole
Monday  North Karamoja – (Uganda) The Rt Revd James Nasak
Riddings and Ironville Clergy: Frank Mercurio
Tuesday    North Mbale – (Uganda) The Rt Revd Samuel Gidudu
Somercotes St Thomas Clergy: Vacant;
Wednesday   North Queensland – (Queensland, Australia) The Rt Revd William Ray
Assistant Bishop of North Queensland (Torres Islander) – (Queensland, Australia) The Rt Revd Saibo Mabo
South Normanton St Michael & All Angels. Clergy: Stephen M Potter
Thursday   North West Australia – (Western Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Gary Nelson
Swanwick and Pentrich Clergy: Carole Lloyd; Readers:
Maurice Greasley, Mary Bennett, Brian Kirkland, Carole Kirsopp, Victor Binks
Friday  Northern Argentina – (South America) The Rt Revd Nicholas James Quested Drayson
Care Homes
Saturday    Northern Indiana – (VI, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Edward Little
Hospice Movement
Sunday Groaner
Found in church pew-sheets….
The youth group will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church hall this Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is warmly invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the parish church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.When Children and RE mix…
When children meet the Bible, the result can be unpredictable. As in these answers to a school chaplain’s efforts to teach RE….
….The main purpose of the prophets was to set up the lights for when Jesus came on the stage.
….The Kingdom of God is no ordinary place like the bathroom at home.
….Jesus said: If you want to divorce your wife leave a note for her on the table.
….Jesus healed a man with a weathered hand.
….Some of the seed from the sower was curried off by Satan.
….The last verses of Mark’s gospel were written later by a unanimous person.
….Jesus first proclaimed the gospel to the Jews: He told them to make love to each other.
….An altar is a stall for candles.
….An example of Holy Orders are the Ten Commandments.
….An epistle is the wife of an apostle.
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Acts 10.44-48; 1 John 5.1-6; John 15.9-17
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today 6th Sunday of Easter Rogation Sunday
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
12.15p.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
5.00p.m. Rogation Service & Walk – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
Tuesday 7.30p.m. Fund raising planning – Church Broughton
Thursday – Ascension Day
7.00p.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
Next Sunday – 7th Sunday of Easter
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12.15p.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today  Nike – (Enugu, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Evans Jonathan Ibeagha
Alfreton Deanery. Rural Dean Philip Brooks, Lay Chair Edward Latham
Monday  Nnewi – (Niger, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Dr Godwin Izundu Nmezinwa Okpala
Alfreton St Martin Clergy: Frank Mercurio; Readers: Margaret Cook, Peter Singleton
Tuesday    North Central Philippines – (Philippines) The Rt Revd Joel Atiwag Pachao
Blackwell with Tibshelf Clergy: Gill Manley, Derek Hesketh, Sally Mason; Reader: Robert Needham
Wednesday  North Carolina – (IV, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Michael Curry
Assistant Bishop of North Carolina – (IV, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd William Gregg
Western North Carolina – (IV, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Porter Taylor
Crich and South Wingfield Clergy: Philip Brooks, David Higgon; Readers: Diane Fretwell, Dennis Hooton, Diana Marshall
Thursday   Ascension Day
Friday    North Dakota – (VII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Michael Smith
Morton and Stonebroom with Shirland Clergy: Margaret
Jacques, John Wood, Christine Wood, John Epton; Readers: David Hadfield,  Julian Penfold;
Saturday    North East India – (North India) The Rt Revd Dr Purely Lyngdoh
Pinxton St Helen. Clergy: Gill Manley, Penny Goodchild
Sunday GroanerThose memorable school reports…
What did your teachers say about your progress at school?
The following were sent into the Daily Telegraph some years ago….
~ One of my French reports simply said: ‘Sheila attended the lessons’. – Sheila Blow, Surrey
~ My housemaster wrote: ‘He has an overdeveloped unawareness.’ – Ian Jones, Wirral
~ A friend’s son’s report said: ‘By the time he has mastered French, he will be too old to cross the Channel.’ – M Knaggs, Dorset~ My teacher observed: ‘The improvement in his handwriting has revealed his inability to spell.’ – Colin Sutherland, Switzerland
~ My teacher was a realist: ‘I am sorry to have to tell you that he is doing his best.’ Stan Proctor, Surrey
On the perils of building a kitchen in church
The Rectory
St. James the Least
My dear Nephew Darren
It never fails to amaze me how in church life, an issue can suddenly become an Issue. In the last month, we have acquired an Issue: a proposal to convert a space at the back of church into a kitchen. Inevitably, battle lines have been drawn and trenches dug. Attendance at church council meetings have soared and unofficial sub-committees meet in the car park after Services. It’s obvious that feelings are running high, because people have become remarkably polite to one another.
Some who are wildly in favour see it as an opportunity of being able to leave the pews ten minutes early in order to get ready for the rush for weak coffee and damp biscuits. I can already hear in my mind the final hymn being drowned by kettles being filled, biscuit tins opened, cups thunderingly placed on saucers, while the volunteers discuss the dress sense of others in the congregation in deafening whispers.
I was a little surprised to hear that Colonel Wainwright was all in favour – until I realised that it would give him a place to totter into to read his newspaper once he got bored with my sermon, which usually seems to happen in the first minute. Naturally, smaller turf wars have broken out alongside the major battle. There is conflict about whether we should get new crockery, what colour carpeting tiles would look right – and most importantly of all, who will take charge of the coffee rota.
Others are totally against the project: the treasurer dreads the thought of signing yet more cheques, the churchwardens worry about removing pews which have quietly hidden the dry rot, and the theologically angst-ridden agonise about the fact that St. Paul never mentioned coffee after Sabbath worship.
Naturally, I encourage all sides, especially if it will bring any possibility of progress to a halt. I proposed bringing in flasks of coffee, thus stopping anyone being able to escape before the end of the Service; I suggested drinks being brought to people in the pews, thus ruining the Colonel’s hopes of finding a safe haven; I organised a group to study High Priestly attitudes to refreshments in the Temple in Jerusalem in Leviticus.
I am sure that by the time all these groups have come up with their conclusions, we will have safely moved on to fight the next Issue.
Your loving uncle,
Eustace
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Reading  Acts 8.26-40; 1 John 4.7-21; John 15.1-8

NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – 5th Sunday of Easter
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Next Sunday – 6th Sunday of Easter – Rogation Sunday
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley (This service may need to change to 12noon)
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
5.00p.m. Rogation Service & Walk – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
We remember in our prayers
Today  Ngbo – (Enugu, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Christian Ebisike
Bhopal Robert Ali
Monday  Niagara – (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd Michael Allan Bird
Walton-on-Trent with Croxall, Rosliston with Linton and Castle Gresley. Clergy: Michael Yates;
Tuesday    Niassa – (Southern Africa) The Rt Revd Mark van Koevering
Suffragan Bishop of Niassa – (Southern Africa) The Ven Manuel Ernesto
Willington, St Michael Clergy: Sue Starkey
Wednesday  Nicaragua – (Central America) The Rt Revd Sturdie Downs
Winshill, St Mark. Clergy:
Vacant; Reader: Mervyn John
Thursday   Niger Delta North – (Niger Delta, Nigeria) The Most Revd Ignatius Kattey
Niger Delta West – (Niger Delta, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Emmanuel Oko-Jaja
Hospitals
Friday     Niger Delta, (Niger Delta, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Ralph Ebirien
Healing Ministry
Saturday    Niger West – (Niger, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Anthony Nkwoka
Sozein ministry of healing trust
Sunday Groaner
Married
How many women can one man marry? A little boy who attended his first wedding worked that one out pretty quick: the answer is 16. It is easy, if you think about it. Four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer. Comes to 16.
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com