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Monthly Archives: June 2015

Lead thieves
Please continue to be watchful for lead thieves. During the last week All Saints’ Trusley suffered theft of lead from the church roof, so the thieves are still very active locally. Please alert the police and/or rector and churchwardens if you see anything suspicious around any of our churches.

Readings Wisdom of Solomon 1.13-15; 2.23-24; 2 Corinthians 8.7-15; Mark 5.21-43
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  – Trinity 4
8.00a.m. Holy Communion -Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
6.45p.m. Evensong – Trusley
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
Saturday 12noon Wedding – Longford
Next Sunday – Trinity 5
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m, Family service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.00a.m. Mattins – Trusley
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today Osaka – (Japan) The Rt Revd Andrew Haruhisa Iso
Ordinands. Pray for all ordinands, particularly those being ordained this Petertide.
Monday     Osun – (Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd James Afolabi Popoola Osun North East – (Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Humphery Olumakaiye
Peter and Paul, Apostles
Pray for all those studying for ordained and licensed lay ministries
Tuesday     Ottawa – (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd John Holland Chapman
Bishop Ordinary to the Canadian Armed Forces – (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd Peter Robert Coffin
Workplace Chaplains
Wednesday      Otukpo – ( Abuja, Nigeria) The Rt Revd David Bello
Police Chaplains.
Thursday     Owerri – (Owerri, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Dr Cyril Chukwunonyerem Okorocha
Prison Chaplains
Friday    Owo – (Ondo, Nigeria) The Rt Revd James Adedayo Oladunjoye
Thomas the Apostle.
Pray for all those struggling to make sense of their faith in the midst of a secular world
Saturday      Oxford – (Canterbury, England) Vacant
Oxford – Buckingham – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Dr Alan Thomas Lawrence Wilson
Oxford – Dorchester – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Colin William Fletcher
Oxford – Reading – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Andrew Proud
Retreat Houses

Sunday Groaner
On the way to get married, a young couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St Peter to process them into heaven.While waiting, they began to wonder. Could they possibly get married in heaven? When St Peter showed up, they asked him. St Peter said “I don’t know This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go and find out.” The couple sat and waited and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. During this time they began to wonder what would happen if their marriage didn’t work out. Could they get a divorce in heaven?After yet another month, St Peter finally returned looking somewhat bedraggled. “Ye” he informed the couple, “You can get married in heaven.” “Great” said the couple, “but we were wondering what if things didn’t work out? Can we get a divorce in heaven?”St Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. “What’s wrong?” Asked the frightened couple. “OH Come ON!” St peter shouted. “It took me three months to find a clergyman up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take to find a lawyer?”
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

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Readings Job 38:1-11; 2 Corinthians 6.1-13; Mark 4.35-41
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  – Trinity 3
8.00a.m. Holy Communion -Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion & Holy Baptism – Dalbury
12noon. Holy Communion – Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Saturday 7.30p.m. Buffet Supper – Radbourne
Next Sunday – Trinity 4
8.00a.m. Holy Communion -Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong – Trusley
We remember in our prayers
Today  Olympia – (IX, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Gregory Rickel
Chandigarh. The Most Revd Younas Massey
Monday    Omu-Aran – (Kwara, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Philip Adeyemo
Street Pastors
Tuesday    On the Lake – (Owerri, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Chijioke Oti
Pioneer Ministers Beth Honey, David Battison, Mark Broomhead
Wednesday      On the Niger – (Niger, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Owen Chidozie Nwokolo
Birth ofJohn the Baptist
Thursday     Ondo – (Ondo, Nigeria) The Rt Revd George Lasebikan
Suffragan Bishop of Ondo – (Ondo, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Christopher Tayo Omotunde
Pastoral assistants
Friday    Ontario – (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd George Lindsey Russell Bruce
Coadjutor Bishop – (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd Michael Oulton
Diocesan Reader Ministry Warden of Readers – Esther Elliott and group members John Puxty, Stephen Mitchell, Mary Parker, Maurice Greasley, Christine McMullen, Tony Winslade, Liz Thomas, Anna Davis, Rosie Moakes, Marlene Weston, Ann Conroy
Saturday     Orlu – (Owerri, Nigeria) The Most Revd Bennett Okoro
Oru – (Owerri, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Geoffrey Chukwunenye
Vocation and Training. Pray for the vocations team:
Geraldine Pond, John Baines, Philip Waller, Carollyn McDonald and all those in the process of discerning God’s call on their lifeSunday Groaner
Descriptions

Dust: mud with the juice squeezed out.
Inflation: cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
Raisin: grape with a sunburn.
Mosquito: an insect that makes you like flies better.
Beauty salon: where women curl up and dye.
Cannibal: one who is fed up with people
Committee: a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Keep it short
The minister stood up and said: “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. You’ll be glad to know that when I asked my secretary to type this sermon out for me I asked her to eliminate any thing that was dull or confusing. So in conclusion….”
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Ezekiel 17.22-24 22; 2 Corinthians 5.6-17; Mark 4.26-34
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Trinity 2
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton12.15p.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
Tuesday Visit of Derby Archaeological Society to Radbourne
Wednesday 7.00p.m. Longford PCC
Friday Long Lane Singers – There will be a concert in Brailsford Institute on 19th June starting at 7.30 pm This will include a selection of well-known pieces for your entertainment and light refreshments will be provided. Tickets are £5 (including refreshments) and are available from choir members or at the door. Proceeds from the event will be donated to the Air Ambulance charity.
Next Sunday – Trinity 3
8.00a.m. Holy Communion -Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon. Holy Communion – Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today Okigwe – (Owerri, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Edward Osuegbu
Calcutta Ashoke Biswas
Monday Okigwe North – (Owerri, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Godson Udochukwu Ukanwa
Duffield & Little Eaton: Clergy: David Barnsley; Reader: Richard Lindop
Tuesday Okigwe South – (Owerri, Nigeria) The Rt Revd David Onuoha
Hazelwood, Holbrook & Milford: Clergy: David Railton; Readers: James Hinnells, Hilary Smith
Wednesday Okinawa – (Japan) The Rt Revd David Eisho Uehara
Kirk Langley & Mackworth & Mugginton & Kedleston: Clergy: Alan Harper, Dawn Glen; Readers Rosemary Harper, Bryan Jones
Thursday Oklahoma – (VIII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Edward Konieczny
Quarndon, St Paul Clergy: William Bates, Jill Needle; Reader Peter Fryman
Friday Okrika – (Niger Delta, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Tubokosemie Atere
Church Mission SocietySaturday Oleh – (Bendel, Nigeria) The Rt Revd John Usiwoma Aruakpor
Mission & Ministry Team: Susan Jones, SimonTaylor, Jason Kennedy, Lee Townsend’ Stella Collishaw; Gareth Greenwood, Esther Elliott, Michael Mitton, Alison Maddocks
Sunday Groaner
Newspaper headlines where you know what they meant, but….!
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Maths lesson
The only place where you can buy 64 watermelons without anyone wondering why.
With June weddings in mind
“If we did become engaged would you give me a ring?” she said. “Yes, of course!” he replied. “What is your number?”
Love
They say he married her because her aunt left her a fortune. He hotly denies it, saying that he would have married her whomever left her the fortune.

The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Genesis 3.8-15; 2 Corinthians 4.13-5.1; Mark 3.20-35
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today –  Trinity 1
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
2.00p.m. Radbourne Fete -at Radbourne Hall
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Tuesday  12noon Funeral of Sam Winfield – Radbourne
7.30p.m. Long Lane PCC Meeting
Friday 6.30p.m. Longford Fete
Saturday 3.00p.m. Teddy Parachuting – Church Broughton
Next Sunday – Trinity 2
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
Advance Notice
Friday 19th June
Long Lane Singers – There will be a concert in Brailsford Institute on 19th June starting at 7.30 pm  This will include a selection of well-known pieces for your entertainment and light refreshments will be provided.
Tickets are £5 (including refreshments) and are available from choir members or at the door.
Proceeds from the event will be donated to the Air Ambulance charity.
We remember in our prayers
Today  Ogbomoso – (Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Matthew Osunade
Ogoni – (Niger Delta, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Solomon Gberegbara
Duffield Deanery Rural Dean Jonathan Page, Lay Chair  Richard Chapman
Monday    Ogori-Magongo – (Lokoja, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Festus Davies
Allestree St Edmund and Darley Abbey Clergy :Christine Dyer; Readers: Clive Lemmon, Melonie Hambly, Deborah Simpson, G. Adlington, R, Wragg
Tuesday    Ohaji / Egbema – (Owerri, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Chidi Collins Oparaojiaku
Allestree St Nicholas Clergy:William Bates, Jill Needle
Wednesday     Ohio – (VI, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Mark Hollingsworth
Southern Ohio – (VI, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Thomas Breidenthal
Ambergate with Heage Clergy: Valerie Hart; Readers:
Elizabeth Dye, R. Taylor
Thursday    Oji River – (Enugu, Nigeria) The Most Revd Amos Amankechinelo Madu
Barnabas the Apostle
Friday   Okene – (Lokoja, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Emmanuel Bayo Ajulo Belper Christ Church with Turnditch Clergy: Jonathan
Page, Alison Roome, Imogen Black;Readers: Eileen Hardy, Anne-Louise Hodcroft, Tony Winslade
Saturday     Oke-Ogun – (Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Solomon Amusan
Oke-Osun – (Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Abraham Akinlalu Belper, St Peter Clergy: Anne Stratton, April Tompkins; Readers: Dinah Dawson, Michael Fletcher, Jonathan Tillin, John Walker
Sunday Groaner
Weight
Signing the register at a wedding, the groom had difficulty in making his ball-point pen work. “Put you weight on it,” said the vicar. So the groom complied: ‘John Smith (eleven stone, four pounds)’
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Radbourne roof and fete

st Andrew’s, Radbourne recently suffered the theft of the lead from the chancel roof. We can get a maximum of £7,500 from insurance for the repair needed. however, the cost of the work is likely to be at least £15,000. We need urgent help and support. One way would be to come to the Radbourne Fete on Sunday 7th June from 2.00p.m.. Please note this is being held in the grounds of Radbourne Hall by the kind invitation of Lady Ann Chichester.
Do come and join us