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Monthly Archives: July 2015

Readings Exodus 16.2-4,9-15; Ephesians 4.1-16; John 6.24-35
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Trinity 9
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m Holy Communion – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Saturday 2.00p.m. Wedding – Boylestone
Next Sunday – Trinity 10
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m Holy Communion – Trusley
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
5.00p.m. Family Service – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
We remember in our prayers
Today  Renk – (Sudan) The Rt Revd Joseph Garang Atem
Derby South Deanery Rural Dean: Peter Walley, Lay Chair: Peter Vincent
Monday Rhode Island – (I, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Nicholas Knisely
Blagreaves, St Andrew Clergy: Paul Bysouth
Tuesday  Rift Valley – (Tanzania) The Rt Revd John Daudi Lupaa
Derby, St Bartholomew Clergy: Vacant
Wednesday  Rio de Janeiro – (Brazil) The Rt Revd Filadelfo Oliviera Neto
Derby, St Peter and Christ Church with Holy Trinity
Clergy: Paul Morris, Anita Matthews; Readers: Margaret Phypers, Tim Benson, Geoff Holland
Thursday  Rio Grande – (VIII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Michael Vono
The Transfiguration of Our Lord.
Friday Riverina – (New South Wales, Australia) The Rt Revd Rob Gillion
Littleover, St Peter Clergy: Alicia Dring, Andrew Race, Roger Gray; Readers: Carol Dickinson,
Paul Taylor, Phillip Rollinson;
Saturday  Rochester – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd James Langstaff
Rochester – Tonbridge – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Dr Brian Castle
Mickleover, All Saints Clergy: Peter Walley, Mary Staunton, Phyllis Bainbridge, Alun Rowlands,
Paul Pritchard, Ian Godlington; Readers: Helen Walley, Dawn Perry, John Foxon
Sunday Groaner
Best position for effective prayer
Three ministers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. “Kneeling is definitely best,” claimed one minister.
“No,” another contended. “I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven.”
“You’re both wrong,” the third insisted. “The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor.”
The repairman could contain himself no longer. “Sorry,” he blurted out, “but the best praying I ever did was hanging upside down from a telephone pole.”
The perfect diet
What is the best and most infallible way to reduce your waistline? Just move your head slowly from right to left when asked to have a second helping.
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

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Readings 2 Kings 4.42-44; Ephesians 3.14-21; John 6.1-21
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today –  Trinity 8
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
3.00p.m. Holy Baptism – Barton Blount
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong – Trusley
Saturday 12.30p.m. Wedding – Longford
4.00p.m. Wedding – Radbourne
Next Sunday – Trinity 9
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m Holy Communion – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today  Quebec – (Canada, Canada) The Rt Revd Dennis Paul Drainville
Chotanagpur. B B Baskey
Monday   Ruaha – (Tanzania) The Rt Revd Joseph Mgomi
Peak Forest and Dove Holes Clergy: Carl Edwards, Mary Washbrook; Reader: Pamela Sutherland
Tuesday  Rayalaseema – (South India) The Rt Revd B D Prasada Rao
Taddington, Chelmorton and Monyash, Harlington, Biggin and Earl Sterndale. Clergy: Richard Benson; Reader: David Race; Lay Minister: Sophie Etchells
Wednesday  Rayalaseema – (South India) The Rt Revd B D Prasada Rao
Mother’s Union
Thursday  Recife – (Brazil) The Rt Revd João Cancio Peixoto
Christian Parents
Friday Rejaf – (Sudan) The Rt Revd Enock Tombe
Saturday Remo – (Lagos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Michael Fape
Diocesan Advisers
Sunday Groaner Press
For the benefit of those who doubt the power of the press, here is a clip from a newspaper: ‘Owing to the overcrowded conditions of our columns, a number of births and deaths are unavoidably postponed this week.’
Signs found outside churches
~ It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.
~ If you don’t like the way you were born, try being born again.
~ Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.
~ This is a ch_ _ch What is missing? (U R)
~ Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
~ In the dark? Follow the Son.
~ Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.
~ If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.
How did you spell that?
A friend who wished to check some point on aeronautics asked in his library for books on Metropolitan Vickers. He was handed a copy of Crockford’s Clerical Directory. – The Times Diary 7 January 1987
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Jeremiah 23.1-6; Ephesians 2.11-22; Mark 6.30-34,53-56
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  – Trinity 7
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon. Holy Communion – Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Thursday  9.30a.m. School Leavers’ Service – Church Broughton
2.45p.m. School Leavers’ Service – Long Lane
Saturday  1.00p.m. Wedding – Sutton
Next Sunday – Trinity 8
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong – Trusley
We remember in our prayers
Today   Port Elizabeth – (Southern Africa) The Rt Revd Nceba Nopece
Pretoria – (Southern Africa) The Rt Revd Dr Johannes Seoka
Buxton Deanery. Area Dean Colin Pearson, Lay Chair Christine McMullen
Monday   Port Moresby – (Papua New Guinea) The Revd Denny Bray Guka
Buxton Trinity Church Clergy: Robert Marsden, Paul Hancock
Tuesday  Port Sudan – (Sudan) The Rt Revd Abdu Elnur Kodi
Buxton with Burbage and King Sterndale Team Ministry
Clergy: John Hudghton, Keith Cocking, Margaret Slyfield; Readers: John Wood, Michael Moore, John Cooper, Sheila Morris;
Wednesday  Portsmouth – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Christopher Foster
Mary Magdalene.
Thursday  Puerto Rico – (V, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd David Alvarez
Chapel-en-le-Frith St Thomas Beckett Clergy: Colin Pearson;
Friday Pune – (North India) The Rt Revd Andrew Rathod
Fairfield St Peter Clergy: Carl Edwards; Reader: Christine McMullen;
Saturday Qu’Appelle – (Rupert’s Land, Canada) The Rt Revd Robert Hardwick
James the Apostle
Sunday Groaner
Those memorable school reports – all true!
(from letters to the Daily Telegraph)
~ After my first grammar school year: ‘A happy soul and quite unconcerned at his ignorance.’ I never did improve. J Swindell, Cheshire
~ He has a small red box, which he drops. R Harrison, East Sussex
~ For religious studies, my report in 1973 read: ‘Not very interested’. Rev Roger Hagon Surrey
~ I have kept none of my school reports. My mother’s maternity records judged me: ‘Feeble at birth with considerable moulding.’ T Duffy, Middlesex
Don’t go far!
The minister went to the bank and asked for a statement of his account, adding: “We want to know how far afield we can go for our holiday.” Handing him his statement the cashier enquired very gently: “Have you got a field at the back of your garden, sir?”
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Amos 7.7-15; Ephesians 1.3-14; Mark 6.14-29
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  – Trinity 6
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
Wednesday Long Lane Fete
Saturday  1.00p.m. Wedding – Sutton
Next Sunday – Trinity 7
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon. Holy Communion – Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today  Peru – (South America) The Rt Revd Dr Harold William Godfrey
Suffragan Bishop of Peru – (South America) The Rt Revd Michael Alexander Chapman
Chattisgarh. Purna Sagar Nag
Monday   Peshawar – (Pakistan) The Rt Revd Humphrey Peters
Whitfield St James & St Luke Clergy: Andrew Hargreaves; Reader: Stephen Mitchell;
Tuesday  Peterborough – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Donald Spargo Allister
Peterborough – Brixworth – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd John Holbrook
Children’s workers
Wednesday  Phulbani – (North India) The Rt Revd Bijay Nayak
Youth workers
Thursday  Pittsburgh – (III, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Dorsey W M McConnell
Children & youth workers
Friday The Most Revd Dr Winston Halapua Bishop of Polynesia and Primate and Archbishop of the Anglican Church in Aotearoa, New Zealand & Polynesia
Polynesia – Vanua Levu and Taveuni – (Aotearoa NZ & Polynesia) The Rt Revd Apimeleki Nadoki Qiliho
Polynesia – Viti Levu West – (Aotearoa NZ & Polynesia) The Rt Revd Apimeleki Qiliho
Holiday clubs
Saturday   Popondota – (Papua New Guinea) The Rt Revd Lindsley Ihove
Out of school clubs
Sunday Groaner
When Radio encounters the Bible
A dramatist employed to write stories from the Bible in radio form was astonished at the end of a broadcast to hear the announcer say, ‘Will Cain kill Abel? Tune in at the same time tomorrow and find out!” Albert R Perkins, Vogue Magazine 1943
Somebody has to do it
The most solemn and terrible duty of a bishop is the entertainment of the clergy. Sydney Smith
Close it down
The popularity of George Whitefield was such that the Privy Council debated whether steps should be taken to prevent his vast evangelical rallies. Lord Chesterfield suggested, “Make him a bishop, then you will silence him at once.” Edmund Fuller
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Ezekiel 2.1-5; 2 Corinthians 12.2-10; Mark 6.1-13

NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today  –  Trinity 5
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m, Family service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Monday 8.00p.m. Sutton PCC
Saturday
2.30p.m. Wedding – Longford
Next Sunday – Trinity 6
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
We remember in our prayers
Today Oyo – (Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Williams Oluwarotimi Aladekugbe
Glossop Deanery. Area Dean Colin Pearson, Lay Chair Peter Collard
Monday   Pacong – (Sudan) The Rt Revd Joseph Maker Atot
Charlesworth and Gamesley Clergy: Robert Heeley, Ian Stubbs, Felicity Walters; Readers: Janet Procter, Lynda Staples
Tuesday Panama – (Central America) The Rt Revd Julio Murray
Dinting Vale. Clergy: Robert Heeley; Reader: Janet Procter;
Wednesday  Pankshin – (Jos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Olumuyiwa Ajayi
Robert Heeley, Norman Shaw, Felicity Walters; Reader: Michael Wilson;
Thursday  Paraguay – (South America) The Rt Revd Peter John Henry Bartlett
Paraguay – (South America) The Rt Revd Andrés Rodríguez ErbenWalters, Ian Stubbs, Robert Heeley; Readers: Nicola Goodhew, John Roberts, Vincent RyderFriday Pelotas – (Brazil) The Rt Revd Renato Da Cruz Raatz
Hayfield and Chinley with Buxworth Clergy: Hilary Edgerton; Readers: Mary Parker, Geoffrey Carrier
Saturday   Perth – (Western Australia, Australia) The Most Revd Roger Herft
Perth – Eastern and Rural Region – (Western Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Tom Wilmot
Perth – Goldfields-Country Region – (Western Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Jeremy James
New Mills St George Clergy: John Overton; Readers: Martyn Long, Thyra Long, T.B. Spires
Sunday Groaner
Miscellaneous observations:
~ I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getter harder and harder for me to find one now.
~ If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
~ A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
~ Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for President and 50 for Miss America?
~ To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
~ Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
~ In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency, notify …” I answered, “a doctor.”
~ Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
~ I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

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