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Monthly Archives: August 2015

Readings Joshua 24.1-2a,14-18; Ephesians 6.10-20; John 6.56-69

NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Trinity 12
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
11.00a.m Holy Communion – Long Lane
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
7.15p.m. PCC Meeting – Boylestone
Saturday 29th August Boylestone Show
Next Sunday – Trinity 13
10.30a.m. United Holy Communion – Dalbury

Monday 31st August
7.30p.m.  Concert by The King’s Men (Choral Scholars from King’s College, Cambridge)
Ticket: £15 (child £8)  ring 01283-732247
01283-733193 or 01283-730475

Saturday 10th October
Organ Recital 
by David Wells & John Gould at 7.30p.m. at St Andrew’s, Radbourne
Admission free. Donations invited to St Andrew’s, Radbourne

We remember in our prayers

Today
San Diego – (IX, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd James Mathes
Derby, The Cathedral Church of All Saints Clergy: John Davies, Chris Moorsom, Elizabeth Thomson, Simon Taylor, Andy Trenier
Monday San Joaquin – (IX, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Chester Talton
San Joaquin – (The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd David Rice
Derby, St Luke Clergy: Vacant
TuesdaySantiago – (Philippines) The Rt Revd Alexander A Wandag
Derby, St Paul Clergy:  Michael Mitto 
Wednesday Sao Paulo – (Brazil) The Rt Revd Flavio Augusto Borges Irala
Mackworth, St Francis Clergy:Vacant
Thursday Sapele – (Bendel, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Blessing Erifeta
Oakwood, The Church on  Oakwood Clergy:Peter Bates, Paul Newman; Reader: C. Williamso
Friday    Saskatchewan – (Rupert’s Land, Canada) The Rt Revd Michael William Hawkins
Saskatchewan – Indigenous Ministry – (Rupert’s Land, Canada) The Rt Revd Adam Halkett
Spondon, St Werburgh Clergy: Julian Hollywell,  Eleanor Berry; Warden: Jonathan Clewes
Saturday Saskatoon – (Rupert’s Land, Canada) The Rt Revd David Irving
Derby Anglican Cursillo  Spiritual Director Sally Mason, Lay Director Robert Sainsbury
Sunday Groaner
Conversation
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Oil
If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
Jolly
Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have had to wait for them?
Towels
Our organist and his wife have their towels marked Hymns and Hers.
Free speech
We live in a free country where a man can say what he thinks, as long as he isn’t afraid of his wife, his neighbours, his employer, his customers or the government.
Way ahead
People aren’t really so smart. The turtle had a streamlined body for travel, a hard top, retractable landing gear and a mobile home for thousands of years before we did.

The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

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Readings Joshua 24.1-2a,14-18; Ephesians 6.10-20;  John 6.56-69

 

NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Trinity 12
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
11.00a.m Holy Communion – Long Lane
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
7.15p.m. PCC Meeting – Boylestone
Saturday 29th August Boylestone Show
Next Sunday – Trinity 13
10.30a.m. United Holy Communion – Dalbury
Monday 31st August
7.30p.m.  Concert by The King’s Men (Choral Scholars from King’s College, Cambridge)
Ticket: £15 (child £8)  ring 01283-732247
01283-733193 or 01283-730475
Ride & Stride on 12th September
Riders, sponsors and welcomers are sought for this event in aid of the Derbyshire Churches & Chapels Preservation Trust. Half the proceeds will go to the church of the participant’s choice. The Rector invites sponsorship for him to take part. Sponsors can choose to support his ride either for St Andrew’s Radbourne or All Saints’ Trusley Roof restoration funds.

We remember in our prayers
TodaySan Diego – (IX, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd James Mathes
Derby, The Cathedral Church of All Saints Clergy: John Davies, Chris Moorsom, Elizabeth Thomson, Simon Taylor, Andy Trenier
Monday San Joaquin – (IX, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Chester Talton
San Joaquin – (The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd David Rice
Derby, St Luke Clergy: Vacant
TuesdaySantiago – (Philippines) The Rt Revd Alexander A Wandag
Derby, St Paul Clergy:  Michael Mitto 
Wednesday Sao Paulo – (Brazil) The Rt Revd Flavio Augusto Borges Irala
Mackworth, St Francis Clergy:Vacant
Thursday Sapele – (Bendel, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Blessing Erifeta
Oakwood, The Church on  Oakwood Clergy:Peter Bates, Paul Newman; Reader: C. Williamso
Friday    Saskatchewan – (Rupert’s Land, Canada) The Rt Revd Michael William Hawkins
Saskatchewan – Indigenous Ministry – (Rupert’s Land, Canada) The Rt Revd Adam Halkett
Spondon, St Werburgh Clergy: Julian Hollywell,  Eleanor Berry; Warden: Jonathan Clewes
Saturday Saskatoon – (Rupert’s Land, Canada) The Rt Revd David Irving
Derby Anglican Cursillo  Spiritual Director Sally Mason, Lay Director Robert Sainsbury
Sunday Groaner
Conversation
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Oil
If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
Jolly
Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have had to wait for them?
Towels
Our organist and his wife have their towels marked Hymns and Hers.
Free speech
We live in a free country where a man can say what he thinks, as long as he isn’t afraid of his wife, his neighbours, his employer, his customers or the government.
Way ahead
People aren’t really so smart. The turtle had a streamlined body for travel, a hard top, retractable landing gear and a mobile home for thousands of years before we did.

The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings  Joshua 24.1-2a,14-18; Ephesians 6.10-20; John 6.56-69

 

NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Trinity 12
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
11.00a.m Holy Communion – Long Lane
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
Saturday 29th August Boylestone Show
Next Sunday – Trinity 13
10.30a.m. United Holy Communion – Dalbury

Monday 31st August
7.30p.m.  Concert by The King’s Men (Choral Scholars from King’s College, Cambridge)
Ticket: £15 (child £8)  ring 01283-732247
01283-733193 or 01283-730475
Saturday 12th September Ride & Stride
Participants invited- to ride & stride, to sponsor participants or to welcome them Proceeds are shared between the Derbyshire Churches & Chapels Preservation Trust and the church of your choice.
The Rector will be taking part. He invites sponsors to sponsor him for the share of his proceeds to go to either St Andrew’s Radbourne or All Saints’ Trusley – sign the appropriate sponsor form of your choice.

We remember in our prayers
Today San Diego – (IX, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd James Mathes
Derby, The Cathedral Church of All Saints Clergy: John Davies, Chris Moorsom, Elizabeth Thomson, Simon Taylor, Andy Trenier
Monday San Joaquin – (IX, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Chester Talton
San Joaquin – (The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd David Rice
Derby, St Luke Clergy: Vacant
TuesdaySantiago – (Philippines) The Rt Revd Alexander A Wandag
Derby, St Paul Clergy:  Michael Mitto 
Wednesday Sao Paulo – (Brazil) The Rt Revd Flavio Augusto Borges Irala
Mackworth, St Francis Clergy:Vacant
Thursday Sapele – (Bendel, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Blessing Erifeta
Oakwood, The Church on  Oakwood Clergy:Peter Bates, Paul Newman; Reader: C. Williamso
Friday    Saskatchewan – (Rupert’s Land, Canada) The Rt Revd Michael William Hawkins
Saskatchewan – Indigenous Ministry – (Rupert’s Land, Canada) The Rt Revd Adam Halkett
Spondon, St Werburgh Clergy: Julian Hollywell,  Eleanor Berry; Warden: Jonathan Clewes
Saturday Saskatoon – (Rupert’s Land, Canada) The Rt Revd David Irving
Derby Anglican Cursillo  Spiritual Director Sally Mason, Lay Director Robert Sainsbury
Sunday Groaner
Conversation
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Oil
If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
Jolly
Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have had to wait for them?
Towels
Our organist and his wife have their towels marked Hymns and Hers.
Free speech
We live in a free country where a man can say what he thinks, as long as he isn’t afraid of his wife, his neighbours, his employer, his customers or the government.
Way ahead
People aren’t really so smart. The turtle had a streamlined body for travel, a hard top, retractable landing gear and a mobile home for thousands of years before we did.

The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Proverbs 9.1-6; Ephesians 5.15-20; John 6.51-58
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Trinity 11
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Monday
7.15p.m. PCC Meeting – Boylestone
Next Sunday – Trinity 12
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
11.00a.m Holy Communion – Long Lane
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong – Trusley
Advance Notice
Saturday 29th August
Boylestone Show
Sunday 30th August
10.30a.m. United Holy Communion – Dalbury
Monday 31st August
7.30p.m.  Concert by The King’s Men (Choral Scholars from King’s College, Cambridge)
Ticket: £15 (child £8)  ring 01283-73224701283-733193 or 01283-730475
We remember in our prayers
Today Ruvuma – (Tanzania) The Rt Revd Dr Maternus Kapinga
Derby North Deanery. Rural Dean: Julian Hollywell, Lay Chair: Madelaine Goddard
Monday Ruwenzori – (Uganda) The Rt Revd Reuben Kisembo
Breadsall, All Saints Clergy: Alison Maddocks; Readers: Jane Williams, Christopher Prior, Fran
Monahan, Lecky Allwood
Tuesday   Sabah – (South East Asia) The Rt Revd Melter Jiki Tais
Assistant Bishop of Sabah – (South East Asia) The Rt Revd John Yeo
Chaddesden, St Mary Clergy: Jason Ward; Readers: David Oddie, Ann Oddie
Wednesday Sabongidda-Ora – (Bendel, Nigeria) The Rt Revd John Akao
Chaddesden, St Philip with Derby St Mark Clergy: Romita Shrisunder, Michael Futers, Beth Honey; Reader: Maureen Jenkins
Thursday Saldanha Bay – (Southern Africa) The Rt Revd Raphael Hess
Derby, St Alkmund and St Werburgh Clergy: Jean Burgess, Ian Mountford; Readers: Hugh Craig, John Parkin
Friday    Salisbury – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Nicholas Holtam
Salisbury – Ramsbury – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Edward Condry
Salisbury – Sherborne – (Canterbury, England) Vacant
Derby, St Barnabas Clergy: Derek Honour, Bill Day, Alan Griggs
Saturday Sambalpur – (North India) The Rt Revd Pinuel Dip
Derby, St John the Evangelist Clergy: Elaine Jones
Sunday Groaner
On the impossibility of keeping silence in church
The Rectory
St. James the Least
My dear Nephew Darren
Your remark that you rather liked the silence we keep before starting Services gave me pause for thought. I suppose all things are relative. I know that the noise your congregation makes before worship resembles a packed stand on the football terraces any Saturday afternoon, but the days seem long-gone when I could expect our congregation to sit in real silence for ten minutes.
There’s the sound of the treasurer counting the previous day’s jumble sale takings, of the ladies at the back asking each other when the fish van will next come round, and of Major Hastings’s deafening whisper as he comments some women’s choice of hats. Add to this the weekly competition between the organist and the bell ringers to see who can make the most noise, the roar from the choir vestry as they all complain they don’t like my choice of hymns and the sound of books, umbrellas and collection money being dropped. I sometimes suspect that an informal rota is arranged whereby people volunteer to drop heavy objects in rotation, thus maintaining a constant clatter, for which no single person can be held responsible.
There is also the weekly ritual when the verger – always waiting until the church is full – goes round each microphone, giving them a bash and bellowing “Testing, testing” and relishing the echo as it bounces off the walls.
The only time the noise level drops significantly is if the congregation see Miss Simpson sidle up to me to have one of her confidential little chats about someone in the village. Everyone knows that her information will provide more than enough to keep gossip flourishing for the following week.
Equally, periods of silence during Services are rarely welcomed; some find them threatening, but the majority simply assume it means I have lost my place. I gave up after one occasion when, on announcing we would say the Lord’s Prayer and then leaving a time of silence for recollection, a choirman leaned over to me and whispered helpfully: “It begins ‘Our Father’ ….”
Your loving uncle,
Eustace
Ecumenics of a crisis
During a recent gathering of local faith leaders, the church caught fire.
The Methodists gathered in the corner and prayed.
The Baptists cried, “Where is the water?”
The Anglicans formed a procession and marched out.
The Quakers silently praised God for the blessings that fire brings.
The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring the fire was evil.
The Roman Catholics passed the plate to cover the damage.
The Jews posted symbols on the door hoping the fire would pass over.
The Congregationalists shouted, “Every man for himself!”
The Fundamentalists proclaimed, “It’s the vengeance of God!”
The Charismatics praised God for another falling of the Holy Spirit.
The Christian Scientists concluded that, actually, there was no fire.
The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson who was to appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a written report.
The secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the fire out.
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Reading 1 Kings 19.4-8; Ephesians 4.25-5.2; John 6.35,41-51
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Trinity 10
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m Holy Communion – Trusley
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
5.00p.m.Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
Next Sunday – Trinity 11
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today Rochester (USA) – (II, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Dr Prince Singh
Cuttack Dr Samson DasMonday Rockhampton – (Queensland, Australia) The Rt Revd David Robinson
Mickleover, St John the Evangelist Clergy: Peter Walley, Mary Staunton, Phyllis Bainbridge, Alun Rowlands, Paul Pritchard, Ian Godlington; Reader: Joy Andrews
Tuesday  Rokon – (Sudan) The Rt Revd Francis Loyo Mori
Normanton-by-Derby Clergy: Neil Barber, David Todd, Andrew Hutchinson; Reader: Nigel Selby
Wednesday  Rorya – (Tanzania) The Rt Revd John Adiema
Sinfin Moor, Sinfin Moor Church Clergy: Susan McIvor
Thursday  Rumbek – (Sudan) The Rt Revd Alapayo Manyang Kuctiel
Sinfin, St Stephen Clergy: Nigel Elliott; Reader: V. Shore
Friday Rumonge – (Burundi) The Rt Revd Pedaculi Birakengana
Walbrook, Epiphany Team Ministry Clergy: Andy Ward, Simon Cartwright, Patrick Douglas, Alasdair Kay; Parish Sister: Sister Pippa
Saturday   Rupert’s Land – (Rupert’s Land, Canada) The Rt Revd Donald David Phillips
The Blessed Virgin Mary
Sunday Groaner
On why the parish goes to war over pumpkin-growing
From The Rectory
St. James the Least
My dear Nephew Darren
Anyone who thinks that the English are a peaceful race has obviously never organised the annual pumpkin growing competition. Very regrettably, one of the Pilgrim Fathers sent a handful of pumpkin seeds to a relation in this parish in the 17th century and ever since, the church has been obliged to hold an annual competition to see who can grow the largest. I suspect some of the original recipients of those seeds still compete. There is a certain irony that the church, which is supposed to promote peace and harmony, sponsors the most war-like activity in the annual calendar.
Mobilisation starts at the beginning of the year when seeds are planted. From that moment on, every other potential entrant is regarded as the Enemy. Once seedlings are planted out, then heavy armaments are placed at boundaries to deter possible invasion. By late Spring, paranoia has taken over and rumours begin to circulate of espionage and sinister undetectable herbicides. Anyone in the village with a beard is looked on with deep suspicion.
In the weeks before the competition, homes, partners and children are abandoned, as contestants talk to their pumpkins by day and snuggle up with them at night. Should bad weather arrive at this point, then I am blamed for not having prayed sufficiently fervently for sunshine and light rain. If only I had such influence.
On the day before the show, tables are put out and woe betide anyone who places their cake stand where Mrs Cholmondeley has put her tea urn for the past 25 years; she now believes she has squatters rights to that place and any challenge to her claim would probably result in litigation.
I find this competitive spirit a little bemusing, as for the last 25 years, the Earl of Stowe has always won first prize. That his mother, the Dowager Countess, is the judge, is, I am sure, pure coincidence. That she has arrived for the past three years with a white stick and accompanied by a golden Labrador does, however, raise doubts.
To award the Earl any prize at all does seem a little unfair, when the only time he ever gets mud on his boots is when he falls off his horse while hunting. I suspect he would be hard pressed to find where the kitchen garden is on his estate. But to give any credit to his gardening staff would be seen as bad form, so we all keep quiet.
It has been tentatively suggested that another judge should be appointed, but no one has so far had the courage to step forward. They may have the privilege of nominating the winner, but would also have to face a twelve month period of hatred from all those who were not successful. Christmas card lists will be amended. Families may have sat next to them in church for generations, but would suddenly find it more congenial to worship in another part of the church. Letters would be strangely mis-delivered and the butcher’s boy would suddenly deliver lamb when pork had been ordered. Who could dare to take on such a poisoned chalice?
Your loving uncle,
Eustace

The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com