Readings 1 Samuel 2.18-20,26; Colossians 3.12-17; Luke 2.41-52
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Christmas 1
10.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
Saturday12.30p.m. Dalbury New Year’s lunch – Laurels Farm, Burnaston
Ring 01332 514314 to book
Next Sunday -Christmas 2
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton-
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today Zaki-Biam – ( Abuja, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Benjamin Vager
John, Apostle and Evangelist As St John stood faithfully at the Cross, pray that we may remain steadfast in our faith.
Monday Zanzibar – (Tanzania) The Rt Revd Michael Hafidh
The Holy Innocents Pray for all children, particularly those who have suffered any form of abuse. Pray for those working to support them. God, born as a baby, we pray for children who cry and are not comforted
Tuesday Zaria – (Kaduna, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Cornelius Salifu Bello
Wednesday Zonkwa – ( Abuja, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Jacob Kwash
iFor clergy and people as we rest
Thursday Zululand – (Southern Africa) Vacant
May God the Father keep you in all your days. May God the Son shield you in all your ways. May God the Spirit bring you healing and peace. May God the Holy Trinity drive all darkness from you and pour upon you blessing and light
Friday Aba – (Niger Delta, Nigeria) The Most Revd Ugochukwu Ezuoke
As we come to the Lord at the start of this New Year, let us seek his grace to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom
Saturday Aba Ngwa North – (Niger Delta, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Nathan Kanu
Rt Rev Alastair Redfern, Bishop of Derby and his wife Caroline and staff at Bishop’sHouse, Claire Beavis, Frances Morrison, Chaplain Pippa Rowan
Farewell from Uncle Eustace
St. James the Least
My dear Nephew Darren
And so, at the beginning of the New Year, you finally go to your own first parish and I am to move to a home for retired clergy. Let me give you some final words of advice.
Curates, you will have noticed, are forgiven everything. I hope you have appreciated this period of grace, because come 1st January, all that will change. You will then become responsible for everything that goes wrong in your church. You must be able to mend leaking taps, arrange flowers, mow the churchyard and run jumble sales. You will be expected to know the moment someone falls ill – preferably the day before. In addition, they will expect you to preach profound sermons – in seven minutes flat, and to lead a life of prayerful solitude while being the life and soul of the parish. From the day your predecessor left, he will have turned into a saint. You will be their new disappointment. Be assured that whatever you do, you will always disappoint someone.
Be prepared for phonecalls at 3am telling you that someone has left a light on in church, and shouldn’t you go turn it off. You will be asked about car parking arrangements for the October Harvest Service by mid-January, while hymns for the 9 Lessons and Carols will be required by early summer. I suggest you buy in extra pullovers, overcoats and scarves for life in your vicarage. A good number of mousetraps may well come in useful too.
Welcome to your new life of an incumbent.
I, on the other hand, greatly relish the thought of no longer having the care of parishioners. Instead, I shall become one myself – and am already planning my revenge. In fact, this afternoon, inspired by a large glass of sherry, I have begun a list of things I can complain about. The church is too cold, I don’t know any of the hymns, the vicar can’t preach, he never visits, and things are not as good as they used to be. True, I haven’t actually chosen my new church yet, but no matter, I will complain when I get there.
Of course, I will not be in church on Sunday mornings if it is raining, or on Sunday evenings if something good is on the television. Most of all, I look forward to sitting as far back in church as is possible, and starting a campaign to stop ‘passing the peace’.
My new life as a parishioner will be richly rewarding. 50 years after ordination, I can hardly wait.
Your loving uncle,
These jokes are sure to make you groan…. think Christmas crackers!
What did the snowman and his wife hang over their baby’s crib? A snow mobile.
What’s brown and sneaks round the kitchen? Mince spies
What did the pack of Walkers say to the Skips? Merry Crispmas.
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com