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Monthly Archives: April 2016

Readings Acts 11.1-18; Revelation 21.1-6; John 13.31-35
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – 5th of Easter
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
NO 9.30a.m service at Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
2.00p.m. Songs of Praise & Tea to mark the Queens’s 90th Birthday – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
Wednesday 7.00p.m. Annual Parochial Church Meeting –  Dalbury
Next Sunday – 6th of Easter
10.30a.m. Confirmation & Holy Communion administered by Bishop Richard Inwood – Longford
Note that this is the ONLY service of the day

We remember in our prayers
Today Jerusalem & The Middle East The Most Revd Dr Mouneer Hanna Anis Archbishop, Jerusalem &  the Middle East & Bishop in Egypt with North Africa and the Horn of Africa
Churchwardens and on PCCs
Monday  Cape Coast – (Ghana, West Africa) The Rt Revd Victor Atta-Baffoe
Those who use their gifts of writing to pass on the Good News of Jesus
Tuesday Cape Town – Table Bay – (Southern Africa) The Rt Revd Garth Counsell
For those newly confirmed and those preparing for Confirmation
Wednesday  Cashel & Ossory – (Dublin, Ireland) The Rt Revd Michael Andrew James Burrows
Christina Rosetti (poet & writer)
Thursday  Central Buganda – (Uganda) The Rt Revd Jackson Matovu
Messy churches in the Diocese
Friday Central Ecuador – (V, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Victor Scantlebury
The Spirituality Group and its co-coordinator Alan Harper.
Saturday   Central Florida – (IV, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Gregory Brewer
Central Gulf Coast – (IV, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Philip Duncan
Dean of Women’s Ministry: Jean Burgess
Sunday Groaner
Heaven
Seen in a parish magazine: “We shall be meeting on Wednesday when the subject will be ‘Heaven – how do we get there?’ Transport by bus is available at 6.45pm opposite the King’s Arms.

Choir
Seen in a parish magazine: Next Sunday the choir will give a recital, after which the church will be closed for repairs.

Who is he?
A musical concert was about to be performed in a prison. The Governor was talking to a titled lady guest, explaining that the orchestra was made up of murderers, embezzlers and other hardened criminals. The lady then pointed to a man in the corner, holding a trombone. ‘He looks a tough customer,’ she whispered. “Whatever has HE done?’ The Governor paused and smiled. ‘Ah, actually, he is the chaplain.’

What am I?
I’m not old. I woke up, I lifted my arms, I moved my knees, I turned my neck. Everything made the same noise: Crrrrrraaaaaaccccckkkk! So I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not old, I’m crispy!

Up or down?
Is this apisdn umop or am I just standing on my head?

The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

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Readings Acts 9.1-6(7-20);  Revelation 5.11-14; John 21.1-19

NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – 3rd of Easter
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
2.00p.m. Holy Baptism – Long Lane
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
Monday 7.30p.m. Annual Parochial Church Meeting – Radbourne
Tuesday 7.30p.m. Annual Parochial Church Meeting –  Church Broughton
Next Sunday – 4th of Easter
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service & Holy Baptism- Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane

Advance Notice
Wednesday 20th April 8.00p.m. Annual Parochial Church Meeting – Trusley
Sunday 24th April Songs of Praise & Tea to mark the Queens’s 90th Birthday – Boylestone

We remember in our prayers
Today The Church of Ireland The Most Revd Dr Richard Lionel Clarke Archbishop of Armagh and Primate of All Ireland and Metropolitan
Food Banks
Monday  Butare – (Rwanda) The Rt Revd Nathan Gasatura
St John the Baptist Clowne; Clergy: Stephen Short
Tuesday Butere – (Kenya) The Rt Revd Timothy Wambunya
East Scarsdale Team Ministry (parishes of St Michael, Pleasley; Christ church, New Houghton; Holy Cross, Upper Langwith with Langwith Bassett; St Luke, Whaley Thorns) Clergy: John Draycott, June Palmer, Karen Bradley;
Wednesday  Buye – (Burundi) The Rt Revd Sixbert Macumi
Eckington and Ridgeway; Clergy: Andy Walker, Ian Price, Sandra Marshall (Methodist Minister)
Thursday  Byumba – (Rwanda) The Rt Revd Emmanuel Ngendahayo
St Peter, Elmton and St Mary Magdelene, Creswell: Clergy: Liz Kirby
Friday Calabar – (Niger Delta, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Tunde Adeleye
St Giles, Killamarsh; Clergy: Helen Guest, Michael Guest
Saturday    Calcutta – (North India) The Rt Revd Ashok Biswas
Church of North India Bishop of Agra, Dr Prem Prakash Habil
Sunday Groaner

Worry
I have so many problems that if a new one comes along today, it will be at least two weeks before I can worry about it.

The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings Acts 5.27-32; Revelation 1.4-8John 20.19-31
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – 2nd of Easter
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Monday 7.30p.m. Annual Parochial Church Meeting – Boylestone
Tuesday 7.30p.m. Fete Planning meeting & Annual Parochial Church Meeting –  Sutton
Wednesday 7.00p.m. Annual Parochial Church Meeting Longford
Friday 2.00p.m. Funeral of Phyllis Yates – Longford
Next Sunday – 3nd of Easter
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford

Advance Notice
Tuesday 12th April 7.30p.m. Annual Parochial Church Meeting – Church Broughton

We remember in our prayers
Today The Church of the Province of the Indian Ocean The Most Revd Ian Gerald James Ernest Archbishop, Province of Indian Ocean & Bishop of Mauritius
The Bolsover and Stavely Deanery
Monday  Bukuru – (Jos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Jwan Zhumbes
St John the Baptist, Ault Hucknall; St Leonard, Scarcliffe and St Luke, Palterton
Tuesday Bunbury – (Western Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Alan Ewing
St James, Barlborough and Renishaw Clergy: Helen Guest, Stephen Short, Michael Guest
Wednesday  Bungoma – (Kenya) The Revd George Mechumo
Bolsover St Mary and St Laurence; Clergy: Rachel Gouldthorpe
Thursday  Bunyoro-Kitara – (Uganda) The Rt Revd Nathan Kyamanywa
Brimington St Michael and All Angels; Clergy: Daniel Cooke
Friday Busan – (Korea) The Rt Revd Onesimus Dongsin Park
St Peters Calow and Sutton-cum-Duckmanton; Clergy: Kevin Ball
Saturday    Busoga – (Uganda) Thr Rt Revd Naimanhye Paul
All Age Worship
Sunday Groaner
Worry
I have so many problems that if a new one comes along today, it will be at least two weeks before I can worry about it.
Reception
Two television aerials met one day and fell madly in love with each other. Eventually they decided to get married and booked the local Church. Apparently the service was not up to much but the reception was excellent!
Heaven
Seen in a parish magazine: “We shall be meeting on Wednesday when the subject will be ‘Heaven – how do we get there?’ Transport by bus is available at 6.45pm opposite the King’s Arms.
Choir
Seen in a parish magazine: Next Sunday the choir will give a recital, after which the church will be closed for repairs.
Who is he?
A musical concert was about to be performed in a prison. The Governor was talking to a titled lady guest, explaining that the orchestra was made up of murderers, embezzlers and other hardened criminals. The lady then pointed to a man in the corner, holding a trombone. ‘He looks a tough customer,’ she whispered. “Whatever has HE done?’ The Governor paused and smiled. ‘Ah, actually, he is the chaplain.’

The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com