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Monthly Archives: June 2016

Reading 1 Kings 19.15-16,19-21; Galatians 5.1,13-25; Luke 9.51-62
or (St John the Baptist)  Isaiah 40:1-11; Luke 1:57-66, 80

 

NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Trinity 5 – Birth of John the Baptist
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
5.00p.m. Evensong – Trusley
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
Next Sunday – Thomas the Apostle
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today  Pakistan (United) The Most Revd Samuel Robert Azariah Bishop of Raiwind & Moderator of the Church of Pakistan
Christians in sport
Monday  Western Kowloon – (Hong Kong) The Rt Revd Andrew Chan
St. Anne, Derby
Tuesday Diocese on the Coast formerly (Ikale-Ilaje) – (Ondo, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Joshua Ogunele
Jan McFarlane will be consecrated as a Bishop of Repton  today. We pray for her and husband Andrew
Wednesday  Doko – (Lokoja, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Uriah Kolo
Derby, St. Barnabas; clergy: Derek Honour, Bill Day, Alan Griggs
Thursday Dominican Republic – (V, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Julio Holguin
Dominican Republic – (VI, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Moisés Quezada Mota
St. John the Evangelist Derby, clergy Elaine Jones, Cath Hollywell
Friday  Dornakal – (South India) The Rt Revd Vadapalli Prasada Rao
Saturday Down & Dromore – (Armagh, Ireland) The Rt Revd Harold Creeth Miller
Christians in Parliament
Sunday Groaner
On why we don’t bother to lock the church
The Rectory
St. James the Least

My dear Nephew Darren

Since I happened to be in your area last week, I tried to call in at your church, and was sorry to find it was locked and bolted, with surveillance cameras watching me.

We tend to be a little more relaxed about matters of security. The key to the medieval lock was lost some time during Queen Victoria’s reign and never replaced. How someone managed to misplace a foot long piece of cast iron, weighing about 10 pounds is a mystery. If it had fallen out of someone’s pocket, it would certainly have broken their foot. Ever since, no one has bothered with locking the door – which makes me wish our burglars last year had thought of trying it, before wasting so much energy smashing a stained glass window when they visited in the early hours one morning. On the other hand, were the key still in use, I should probably be arrested these days for carrying an offensive weapon.

As with most rural churches, keys which open just about everything in the village are hidden in various parts of the church. The vestry key is under my seat cushion, the organ key under a vase on the altar, the church hall key on top of the hymn book cupboard, and Miss Simpson‘s spare front door key inside the font. I have never been certain whether the latter is there for safety, or as a general invitation. I am sure someone could usefully produce a book suggesting the many places keys are likely to be found secreted in churches for the use of vergers, flower arrangers, cleaners – and thieves wanting to save themselves time and effort.

I suspect that the burdened look that many urban clergy wear is not because they are weighed down with parish troubles, but because they are obliged to carry with them a superfluity of keys needed to negotiate every door in church, hall, school and vicarage. And why is there always one for which no one has any idea what it opens?

The only occasion I have ever thought it would be useful to be able to lock a church is when you have a party of visitors inside. So often, on hearing the words “let us pray” or the start of an appeal for funds, they bolt for the door.

Your loving uncle,

Eustace
Notices that didn’t quite ‘make it’…
The preacher for Sunday next will be found hanging on the notice board in the porch.
Churchyard maintenance is becoming increasingly difficult, so it will be appreciated if parishioners cut the grass around their own graves.
Vote carried
The vicar was ill in hospital and so the churchwarden went to visit. Trying to cheer him up, the churchwarden said: ‘We missed you at PCC last night. We even put forward a resolution to wish you a speedy recovery. It was passed by 14 votes to 12.’

The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

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Readings Isaiah 65.1-9;  Galatians 3.23-29;  Luke 8.26-39

NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Trinity 4
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Next Sunday Trinity 5
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
5.00p.m. Evensong – Trusley
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne
We remember in our prayers
Today  Church of North India (United) The Most Revd Pradeep Samantaroy Moderator of CNI & Bishop of Amritsar
Vocations team: Geraldine Pond , John Baines, Carollyn McDonald
Monday  Delhi – (North India) Vacant
Derby, St Alkmund and St. Werburgh clergy Burgess Jean , Ian Mountford,
Tuesday Derby – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Alastair Redfern
Derby – (Canterbury, England) The Ven Janet Elizabeth McFarlane (Bishop of Repton designate)
St. Andrew with St. Osmund Derby; clergy Trudie Morris, Norma Bracewell
Wednesday  Derry & Raphoe – (Armagh, Ireland) The Rt Revd Kenneth Raymond Good
St Alban’s Day
ThursdayDiocese in Europe – (England) The Rt Revd Robert Innes
Suffragan Bishop of the Diocese in Europe – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd David Hamid
Europe – (II, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Pierre Whalon
Referrendum Day
Friday   Eastern Kowloon – (Hong Kong) The Rt Revd Timothy Kwok
Birth of John the Baptist
Saturday Diocese of the Free State (formerly Bloemfontein) – (Southern Africa) The Rt Revd Dintoe Letloenyane
Pray for all those being ordained as priests today.
Andrew Baguley to Belper, St Peter; Naomi Barraclough to Wirksworth Deanery; Marian Brookes to Ripley; Alan Griggs to Derby, St Barnabas; Catherine Hollywell to Derby, St John the Evangelist Sue Ives-Smith to Tideswell; Dan Leathers to Whitfield Hilary Moore to The Order of the Black Sheep with Chesterfield SS Augustine and Brampton St Mark; David Mundy to Chapel-en-le-Frith; Julian Penfold to Riddings, Ironville and Alfreton; Nicola Pepper to New Mills Jane Plackett to Derwent Ward; Carla Prior to Kirk Hallam; Andrew Race to Littleover; Phil Selby to Trinity Church, Buxton; Rachel Williams to Bolsover
Sunday Groaner
Life in the CircusA couple who worked at the circus wanted to adopt a child. Social workers had doubts about their suitability, but the couple produced photos of their large motor-home, which was equipped with a beautiful nursery. As for education, not only was there a nanny, but also a full-time tutor to teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills. Finally, the social workers were satisfied, and had only one last question. “What age child are you hoping to adopt?”

“Oh, we don’t mind at all,” the couple assured them. “As long as he fits in the cannon.”

The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Reading 2 Samuel 11.26-12.10,13-15;  Galatians 2.15-21; Luke 7.36-8.3

 

 

NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Trinity 3
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
1.00p.m. Radbourne Fete
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
Wednesday 7.00p.m. Longford PCC
Next Sunday Trinity 3
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion – Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today  Nigeria The Most Revd Nicholas Okoh Metropolitan & Primate of all Nigeria & Bishop of Abuja
All those studying for ordained and licensed lay ministries
Monday  Daejeon – (Korea) The Revd Moses Nak Jun Yoo
St. Bartholomew Derby,; clergy Revd Leonard Young
Tuesday Dallas – (VIII, The Episcopal Church) The Revd Canon George Sumner
Deanery launch event today for the new City deanery
Suffragan Bishop of Dallas – (VIII, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Paul Lambert
St. Mary Chaddesden, clergy Jason Ward, Matt Simper Youth and Families Minister,
Wednesday  Damaturu – (Jos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Abiodun Ogunyemi
St. Philip Chaddesden with St. Mark Derby clergy Romita Shrisunder, Michael Futers, Pioneer minister Beth Honey
Thursday  Dar-es-Salaam – (Tanzania) The Rt Revd Valentino Mokiwa
St Peters, Chellaston: clergy: J Facey
Friday Davao – (Philippines) The Rt Revd Jonathan Labasan Casimina
St Andrew, Blagreaves Clergy: Paul Bysouth
Saturday   Delaware – (III, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Wayne Wright
St Andrew, Blagreaves Clergy: Paul Bysouth
Sunday Groaner
Sweets
I gave my four-year-old grand-daughter money for sweets and the church collection plate. Later, seeing her enormous pile of sweets, I got suspicious and asked if she hadn’t also given some money to God in church that morning. “No,” she replied sweetly, “He wasn’t there.”
Talk talk
Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

Readings 1 Kings 17.17-24; Galatians 1.11-24;  Luke 7.11-17

 

NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today – Trinity Sunday
8.00a.m. Holy Communion -Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
3.000p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
Friday
6.30p.m. Longford Fete
Saturday
3.00p.m. Teddy Parachuting – Church Br0ughton

Next Sunday Trinity 3
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Mattins – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
1.00p.m. Radbourne Fete
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong – Longford
We remember in our prayers
Today Myanmar (Burma) The Most Revd Stephen Than Myint Oo Archbishop of Myanmar and Bishop of Yangon
Nicholas , Allestree and their Vicar Revd William Bates, who prepares to retire in July, clergy Jill Needle
Monday  Cueibet – (Bahr El Ghazal, Sudan) The Rt Revd Elijah Matueny Awet
Alvaston Revd John Whitney
Tuesday Cuernavaca – (Mexico) The Rt Revd Enrique Treviño Cruz
Archdeacon’s Visitation Services for Duffield and Longford Deanery in St Peter’s, Belper and for Ashbourne and Wirksworth Deanery in St Mary’s Wirksworth
Wednesday  Curitiba – (Brazil) The Rt Revd Naudal Alves Gomes
St Mary’s Boulton clergy Nicholas Gurney
Thursday  Cuttack – (North India) The Rt Revd Samson Das
Archdeacon’s Visitation Services for North East Deanery: at St Thomas, Brampton
Friday Cyangugu – (Rwanda) The Rt Revd Nathan Amooti Rusengo
All Saints Breadsall; Clergy: Alison Maddocks;
Saturday   Cyprus and the Gulf – (Jerusalem & Middle East) The Rt Revd Michael Augustine Owen Lewis
Barnabas the Apostle
Sunday Groaner
Life in the Circus
A couple who worked at the circus wanted to adopt a child. Social workers had doubts about their suitability, but the couple produced photos of their large motor-home, which was equipped with a beautiful nursery. As for education, not only was there a nanny, but also a full-time tutor to teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills. Finally, the social workers were satisfied, and had only one last question. “What age child are you hoping to adopt?”
“Oh, we don’t mind at all,” the couple assured them. “As long as he fits in the cannon.”
Sweets
I gave my four-year-old grand-daughter money for sweets and the church collection plate. Later, seeing her enormous pile of sweets, I got suspicious and asked if she hadn’t also given some money to God in church that morning. “No,” she replied sweetly, “He wasn’t there.”
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com