Readings Ecclesiasticus 35.12-17; 2 Timothy 4.6-8,16-18; Luke 18.9-14
Harvest Readings Joel 2:21-27; Matthew 6:25-33
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today -Last after Trinity
Harvest Thanksgiving Trusley
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
3.00p.m. Evensong – Radbourne (now at the winter time of 3.00p.m.)
6.45p.m. Harvest Evensong – Trusley
8.00p.m. Sutton PCC
12.30p.m. Dalbury Harvest Lunch – Laurel Farm, Burnaston Ring 01332-514314 to book
Next Sunday – All Saints’ Sunday
NB Clocks go back!
10.30a.m. United Service – Church Broughton Methodist Church
6.30p.m. SAID Holy Communion – Longford
We remember in our prayers
Today Cuba – (Cuba) The Rt Revd Griselda Delgado Del Carpio
Suffragan Bishop of Cuba – (Cuba) The Rt Revd Ulises Prendes
Monday Ikeduru – (Owerri, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Emmanuel Maduwike
Ikka – (Bendel, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Peter Onekpe
United Benefice of Hartshorn & Bretby, the parish of St Peter Hartshorne, Clergy: Graham Rutter, Philp Bosher,
Tuesday Ikwerre – (Niger Delta, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Blessing Enyindah
United Benefice of Hartshorn & Bretby, the parish of St Wystan Bretby Clergy: Graham Rutter, Philp Bosher
Wednesday Ikwo – (Enugu, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Kenneth Ifemene
United Benefice , the parish of St Michael with St Mary Melbourne, Clergy: Vicar – vacant. Angela Plummer, David Thomas, Readers: David Edwards, Nicholas Gravestock ,
Thursday Ikwuano – (Aba, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Chigozirim Onyegbule
Parish of St George Ticknall, St James Smisby, Clergy: Vicar – vacant. Angela Plummer, David Thomas, Readers: David Edwards, Nicholas Gravestock
Friday Ilaje – (Ondo, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Fredrick Olugbemi
United Benefice, the parish of St Michael Stanton-by-Bridge Clergy: Vicar – vacant. Angela Plummer, David Thomas, Readers: David Edwards, Nicholas Gravestock
Saturday Ile – Oluji – (Ondo, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Samson Adekunle
St George & St Mary Gresley, Clergy Michael Fribank, Authorised Lay Minister Sarah Miller, Readers Jane Clamp, Stephen Payne, Peitje Carpenter,
If you understand it…
When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
Lost in translation
Sign on a door in Istanbul: American dentist – 2nd floor. Teeth extracted by a new Methodist.
On how long a sermon should last
St. James the Least of All
My dear Nephew Darren
I am afraid we will never agree about the appropriate length of sermons. Your 50 minute exposition on the theology of St. Paul concerning women wearing hats in church is, I am sure, of real interest to you. But as your sermon slowly unfolds, I suspect it will prompt quite a different concern among your congregation. Have they set the oven timer to come on too early?
Whenever I even hint that a matter of theological importance may be about to appear in one of my sermons, an expression of benign incomprehension comes over my congregation. You know the look – you see it on golden Labradors whenever they try and work out what their owners are telling them.
There are certain sure signs that should warn you when you have preached for long enough. One is when members of the congregation reach for their prayer books to try to work for the umpteenth time how the date for Easter is calculated. The organist turning on the blower when you say “and finally” is another.
Most members of the congregation will count the number of dead flies on the windowsills during your sermon. But when you can see members of the congregation counting the numbers in the congregation counting the numbers of dead flies, that is absolute proof that it is time to stop.
There has only been one occasion when I preached for longer than my standard eight minutes. Our former organist was in the habit of taking his dog for a walk during the sermon. I knew I had to carry on preaching until I heard the latch on the vestry door for the second time. That meant he was back, and ready to play the last hymn. Unfortunately one Sunday, his dog ran away.
While he searched for it over every field in the parish, I spent the intervening two hours reading the greater part of Leviticus, discussing the food laws set forth in Deuteronomy, and arguing for a Deutero-Isaiah. I was headed for the Babylonian exile when we all heard the vestry door re-open.
After the Service, the congregation left looking as though they had just been rescued from a major shipwreck. And at the next church council meeting, we unanimously voted to buy our organist a stronger lead.
Your loving uncle,
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com