Reading Numbers 6.22-27; Galatians 4.4-7; Luke 2.15-21
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
10.30am Holy Communion – Long Lane
Friday 6th January
11.45a.m. Funeral of Jean Atkins – Boylestone
Epiphany – Plough Sunday
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
10.30a.m. Plough Sunday Service – Sutton
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. SAID Evensong – Longford
We remember in our prayers
Today Kolhapur – (North India) The Rt Revd Bathuel Tiwade
Monday Kondoa – (Tanzania) The Rt Revd Given Gaula
Rt Rev Alastair Redfern, Bishop of Derby and his wife Caroline and Bishop Jan and her husband Andrew and their families.
Tuesday Kongor – (Upper Nile, Sudan) The Rt Revd Gabriel Thuch Agoth
Community Action Officer: Stella Collishaw
Wednesday Kontagora – (Lokoja, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Jonah Ibrahim
Peak Deanery: In a United Benefice the parish of St Barnabus, Bradwell clergy Ian Davis, Josephine Barnes; reader Dorothy Hawkins
Thursday Kootenay – (British Columbia & the Yukon, Canada) The Most Revd John Elswood Privett
the parish of St Edmund Castleton Clergy: Rev Ian Davis, Rev Josephine Barnes,
Saturday Kubwa – ( Abuja, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Duke Akamisoko
parish of St Peter Hope Clergy: Rev Ian Davis, Rev Josephine Barnes,
Overheard on the Wise Men’s journey to Bethlehem
The camel is definitely the ship of the desert. I know it because I’m getting seasick.
OK, we got the gold. We got the frankincense. We got the myrrh. Think we should get something more practical, like nappies, maybe?
At least this gold has doubled in price since we set out from home….
Man, I’m starting to get a rush from this frankincense!
Suppose He really wanted a PlayStation?
I think we took a wrong turn back at Amal’s house.
Why should I always have to be in the rear? It’s somebody else’s turn to get sand in his face.
I need to stop at the bazaar in the next town and pick up one more gift.
You know, I used to go to school with a girl name Beth Lehem.
They call us wise men – for following a star. But I notice they are all using satnav instead.
New Year problems
As you start the New Year, does this sound like you? ….“Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that’s not true – some smaller countries are neutral.”
On how to run your Diary for 2017
St. James the Least
My dear Nephew Darren
So, you have just attended a course on ‘Diary Management’, to get you prepared for another year. If you had visited me, I could have told you all you need to know in half the time. Allow me to provide you with useful information which was probably not provided in your conference hand-outs.
First: buy the smallest diary you can find: large blank pages only encourage you to fill them with too many appointments; the smaller the page, the easier it can be made to appear that your days are fully booked.
Second: make sure that it is of a size that will conveniently fit into any pocket. When dates are being arranged for subsequent meetings, you can theatrically start going through jacket, trouser and overcoat pockets. By the time you discover it was in your briefcase all along, all the dates will have been fixed and no one will notice you never got any of them.
Third: adopt your own private code for bookings. This means that any parishioner looking over your shoulder and seeing “1.30pm PLS” or “7.30pm WTD” will assume you are attending important church meetings. The fact that they mean “Post Lunch Sleep” and “Walk The Dog” will be known to you alone – although do have alternative possibilities for your acronyms should you ever be challenged. My congregation know I am assiduous in attending the “Pauline Letters Seminars” and my membership of the “World Theology Directorate” is of many years standing.
Fourth: Record everything in pencil so that once you return home, you can rub most of it out and can then deny you knew anything about those meetings you were supposed to attend – and to prove it, you can show the blank page in your diary.
Fifth: Put someone else’s address inside your diary. Should you ever have to resort to the ultimate act and need to lose it, you do not want some Good Samaritan returning it to you from the churchyard compost heap.
So you see, your day of flip charts and group discussions were quite wasted – and I would gladly have presented my course for half their price.
Your loving uncle,
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com