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Monthly Archives: January 2017

Readings 1 Kings 17.8-16; 1 Corinthians 1.18-31] John 2.1-11
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today –  Epiphany 4
10.30a.m. United Holy Communion – Boylestone
Monday 8.00p.m. Sutton PCC
Thursday 2.30p.m. Funeral of Richard Leigh Mousley – Church Broughton
Saturday 10am onwards Big Breakfast – Boylestone
Next Sunday –  4 before Lent
8.00a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.15a.m. Ho;y Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane
We remember in our prayers
Today   Lichfield – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Michael Ipgrave
Lichfield – Shrewsbury – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Mark James Rylands
Lichfield – Stafford – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Geoffrey Peter Annas
Lichfield – Wolverhampton – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Clive GregoryDiocesan Safeguarding Adviser Julian Hodgson, for the team Amanda Clarke, Cath Shipsides, Claire Brown and all those who work in this area of Safeguarding Children.
Monday  Limerick & Killaloe – (Dublin, Ireland) The Rt Revd Kenneth Kearon
Charles king and martyr, Peak forest and the parish of St Paul Dove Holes forest clergy
Rev Carl Edwards, Rev Mary Washbrook, Readers
Tuesday   Lincoln – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Christopher Lowson
Lincoln – Grantham – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Nicholas Alan Chamberlain
Lincoln – Grimsby – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd David Eric Court
Holy Trinity Buxton clergy Rev Robert Marsden, Rev Phil Selby, Youth worker Matthew Holden
Wednesday  Litoral Ecuador – (XI, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Alfredo MorantePresentation of Christ in the Temple
Thursday  Liverpool – (York, England) The Rt Revd Paul Bayes
Liverpool – Warrington – (York, England) The Rt Revd Richard Finn Blackburn
St John the Baptist Buxton. Clergy Rev John Hudghton, Rev Keith Cocking, Rev Margaret Slyfield,Readers: Michael Moore, John Cooper, Sheila Morris, John Wood
Friday  The Most Revd Dr Barry Morgan Archbishop of Wales & Bishop of Llandaff
Assistant Bishop of Llandaff – (Wales) The Rt Revd David Wilbourne
St John the Baptist Buxton. Clergy Rev John Hudghton, Rev Keith Cocking, Rev Margaret Slyfield,Readers: Michael Moore, John Cooper, Sheila Morris, John Wood
Saturday Lokoja – (Lokoja, Nigeria) The Most Revd Emmanuel Sokowamju Egbunu
St Mary the Virgin Buxton. Clergy Rev John Hudghton, Rev Keith Cocking, Rev Margaret
Slyfield, Readers: Michael Moore, John Cooper, Sheila Morris, John Wood,
Sunday Groaner
In place of cabbage
A woman confided in her minister that when she sent her husband to buy a cabbage for lunch, he had fallen and broken his leg. “That’s terrible!” said the minister. “What did you do?”
“I opened a can of peas”, she replied.
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com

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Readings Isaiah 9.1-41; 1 Corinthians 1.10-1810 Matthew 4.12-23
NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today –  Epiphany  3
8.00a.m. Holy Communion  – Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
11.00a.m. Family service – Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
3.00p.m.. Evensong – Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong – Trusley
Tuesday 11.00a.m. Funeral of Brenda Dorothy Sharratt – Church Broughton
Next Sunday –  Epiphany 4
10.30a.m. United Holy Communion – Boylestone
Advance Notice
Wednesday 1st February
2.30p.m. Funeral of Richard Leigh Mousley – Church Broughton
We remember in our prayers
Today  Lake Rukwa – (Tanzania) The Rt Revd Mathayo Kasagara
St John the Baptist, Tideswell Clergy: Rev Simon White, Rev Gillian White, Rev Sue Ives-Smith, Reader-in-training
Monday  Lango – (Uganda) The Rt Revd John Charles Odurkami
Lay Ministry Officer: Canon Dr Esther Elliott
Tuesday  Langtang – (Jos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Stanley Fube
Christ Church Litton Clergy: Rev Simon White, Rev Gillian White
Wednesday  Lebombo – (Southern Africa) The Rt Revd Carlos Simao Matsinhe
Lesotho – (Southern Africa) The Rt Revd Adam Mallane Taaso
St John the Evangelist Cressbrook, Clergy: Rev Simon White, Rev Gillian White
Thursday  Leicester – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Martyn James Snow
Assistant Bishop in the Diocese of Leicester – (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Christopher John Boyle
St Ann Millers Dale, Clergy: Rev Simon White, Rev Gillian White
Friday  Lexington – (IV, The Episcopal Church) The Rt Revd Douglas Hahn
St Margaret of Antioch Wormhill, Clergy: Rev Simon White, Rev Gillian White
Saturday  Liberia – (West Africa, West Africa) The Most Revd Jonathan Bau-Bau Bonaparte Hart Bishop Geoffrey Allen
Church and Community Centre Gamesley Clergy: Rev Felicity Walters, Rev Robert Heely , Readers Kate Gee, Lynda Staples, Janet Procter
Sunday Groaner
Cold ministry
Two missionaries were comparing notes about their work in the arctic settlements of Siberia. “It was so cold where we were,” boasted one, “that the candle froze during our church service and we couldn’t blow it out.”
“That’s nothing,” said the other. “Where we were it was so cold that my sermons came out in chunks of ice and the congregation had to thaw them to see what I was talking about.”
Softly
A churchwarden went to the Police Station wishing to see the burglar who had slipped in and out of the church during evensong. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Desk Sergeant.
“I don’t want revenge,” said the man. “I want to know how he got out of the service early without the vicar noticing. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”
The puppy
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, surrounding a small puppy. Concerned lest the boys were hurting it, he went to investigate. One boy explained, “We just found this puppy, and we all want him. So we’ve decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to take him home.”
The minister was taken aback. “Don’t you boys know it’s a sin to lie? Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie.” There was dead silence for a moment. The minister thought he had got through to them.
Then the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, “All right, give him the dog.”
One liners to fill a gap…
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
“Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver.”
(Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman)
The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com
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Readings Isaiah 60.1-6; Ephesians 3.1-12; Matthew 2.1-12

NOTICES FOR THE WEEK
Today –  Epiphany
8.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
10.30a.m. Plough Sunday Service – Sutton
5.00p.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
6.30p.m. SAID Evensong – Longford
Monday 7.30p.m. Boylestone PCC
Tuesday 7.30p.m. Church Broughton PCC
Wednesday
7.30p.m. Benefice meeting
Sutton Village Hakll
Next Sunday –  Epiphany 2
8.00q.m. Holy Communion  – Sutton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family service – Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
12.10p.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
2.30p.m.. Evensong – Long Lane
Advance Notice
Tuesday 17th January
11.00a.m. Funeral of John Bather – Longford
7.30p.m. Long Lane PCC
We remember in our prayers
Today  Kuching – (South East Asia) The Rt Revd Bolly Lapok
Assistant Bishop of Kuching – (South East Asia) The Rt Revd Solomon Cheong Sung Voon
Monday  Kumi – (Uganda) The Rt Revd Thomas Irigei
St Ann Millers Dale, Clergy: Rev Simon White, Rev Gillian White
Tuesday
  Kushtia – (Bangladesh) The Rt Revd Samuel Sunil Mankhin
St Margaret of Antioch Wormhill, Clergy: Rev Simon White, Rev Gillian White
Wednesday  Kutigi – (Lokoja, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Jeremiah Kolo
St John the Evangelist, Charlesworth and Bishop Geoffrey Allen Church and Community Centre Gamesley
Clergy: Rev Felicity Walters, Rev Robert Heely , Readers Kate Gee, Lynda Staples, Janet Procter
Thursday  Kwara – (Kwara, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Olusegun Adeyemi
St Andrew’ Hadfield  Felicity Walters, Rev Robert Heely , Readers Nichola Goodhew, John Roberts, Vincent Ryder
Friday 
Kwoi – ( Abuja, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Paul Zamani
Diocesan Safeguarding Adviser Julian Hodgson, for the team Amanda Clarke, Cath Shipsides, Claire Brown and all those who work in this area of Safeguarding Children.
Saturday  Kyoto – (Japan) The Rt Revd Stephen Takashi Kochi
Charles king and martyr, Peak forest and the parish of
St Paul Dove Holes forest clergy Rev Carl Edwards, Rev Mary Washbrook

Sunday Groaner
Overheard on the Wise Men’s journey to Bethlehem

The camel is definitely the ship of the desert. I know it because I’m getting seasick.

OK, we got the gold. We got the frankincense. We got the myrrh. Think we should get something more practical, like nappies, maybe?

At least this gold has doubled in price since we set out from home….

Man, I’m starting to get a rush from this frankincense!

Suppose He really wanted a PlayStation?

I think we took a wrong turn back at Amal’s house.

Why should I always have to be in the rear? It’s somebody else’s turn to get sand in his face.

They call us wise men – for following a star. But I notice they are all using satnav instead.

The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at https://churchbroughtonchurch.wordpress.com