Parish Pump 30th July 2017 Trinity 7

Readings 1 Kings 3.5-12; Romans 8.26-39; Matthew 13.31-33,44-52

Today – Trinity 7
10.30a.m. United Holy Communion – Long Lane
Next Sunday – Trinity 8
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion – Longford
12.15p.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane

Sunday Groaner
Helpful signs
Sign on a door: Push. If that doesn’t work. Pull. If that doesn’t work, we’re closed.

In front of a church: Don’t give up. Moses was once a basket case.

In the grounds of a private school: No trespassing without permission.

A sign advertising a Company-wide skiing race: Let’s see who can go downhill the fastest.

Outside a photographer’s studio: Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also.

Notice in health food shop window: Closed due to illness.

On a plumber’s van: We repair what your husband fixed.

Help from above
The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn’t quite remember it. Finally she went to the minister’s study and asked for help.
The minister came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers, he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally, he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock.
The teacher was amazed. “I’m in awe at your faith, pastor,” she said.
“It’s really nothing,” he answered. “The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling.”

The Parish Pump can be found on the internet at


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