Parish Pump 27th August 2017 Trinity 11

Readings Isaiah 51.1-6; Romans 12:1-8;  Matthew 16.13-20

Today – Trinity  11
9.00a.m.Holy Communion – Longford
9.30a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
11.00a.m. Family Service – Sutton
12.15p.m. Holy Communion & Holy Baptism – Long Lane
2.00p.m. Holy Baptism – Radbourne
5.00p.m. Evensong – Trusley
6.30p.m. Evensong – Radbourne

Thursday 3.00p.m. Wedding – Longford
Next Sunday – Trinity 12
9.30a.m. Mattins – Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service – Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
12.15p.m. Holy Communion – Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong – Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong – Long Lane

Advance Notice
Sunday 10th September
11.00a.m. United Holy Communion at Church Broughton to mark the rector’s retirement. The service will be followed by a bring and share lunch in church

Sunday Groaner
Say again?
The foreign student fell in love, and wanted to say: ‘I am bent on seeing you…’ but he wrote: ‘the sight of you doubles me up.’
Politicians are people who, when they see the light at the end of the tunnel, order more tunnel.
Hymns for People Over 50
Give Me the Old Timers’ Religion

Precious Lord, Take My Hand, And Help Me Up

Just a Slower Walk with Thee

Go Tell It on the Mountain, But Speak Up

Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing

When young children pray…

“Lead a snot into temptation.”

“And forgive us our trash baskets, as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”

“Give us this day our jelly bread.”

“Our Father, who art in heaven, how didja know my name?”

Game rules
During the local football game, the coach asked one of his young players: “Do you understand what cooperation is?” The little boy nodded yes. “Do you understand that what matters is winning together as a team?”The little boy nodded yes.“Okay,” the coach continued, “do you also understand that when the referee makes a decision, you don’t argue or curse or threaten to attack him, right?”Again, the boy nodded vigourously.”Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your mother.”

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