HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO YOU!
Collect (Christmas Night)
Eternal God, in the stillness of this night you sent your almighty Word to pierce the world’s darkness with the light of salvation: give to the earth the peace that we long for and fill our hearts with the joy of heaven through our Saviour, Jesus Christ.
Lord Jesus Christ, your birth at Bethlehem draws us to kneel in wonder at heaven touching earth: accept our heartfelt praise as we worship you, our Saviour and our eternal God.
Readings Isaiah 9.2-7; or Isaiah 62.6-12; or Isaiah 52.7-10;
Titus 2.11-14; or Titus 3.4-7; or Hebrews 1.1-4(5-12)
Gospel Luke 2.1-14(15-20); or Luke 2.(1-7)8-20; or John 1.1-14
Notices for the week
5.00p.m. Crib Service-Church Broughton
10.00p.m. Holy Communion – Radbourne
10.00p.m. Holy Communion – Sutton
11.30p.m. Holy Communion – Church Broughton
11.30p.m. Holy Communion – Longford
9.45a.m. Holy Communion – Boylestone
10.15a.m. Holy Communion – Dalbury
11.00a.m. Holy Communion – Trusley
Next Sunday – (after Christmas)
10.30a.m. Holy Communion – Long Lane
The Twelve Days of Christmas
(or Everlasting Turkey)
On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me
“I’m so glad we bought a turkey and a proper Christmas Tree”
On the second day of Christmas much laughter could be heard
As we tucked into our turkey – a most delicious bird.
On the third day of Christmas we’d friends in from next door,
The turkey tasted just as good as it had the day before.
On the fourth day of Christmas, Gran came – she’s rather old.
We finished up the Christmas pud – and the turkey cold.
On the fifth day of Christmas outside the snowflakes flurried,
But we were nice and warm inside – we ate the turkey curried.
On the sixth day of Christmas the turkey spirit died.
The children fought and bickered – we ate the turkey fried.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave a wince
When he sate down for dinner and was given turkey mince.
On the eight day of Christmas, the dog ran off for shelter,
I served up turkey pancakes and a glass of alkaseltzer.
On the ninth day of Christmas by lunchtime Dad was blotto.
He knew that bird was back again – this time as a risotto.
On the tenth day of Christmas, the air was rather blue
As everybody grumbled at eating turkey stew.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Christmas tree was moulting,
With chilli and spicy sauce, the turkey was revolting.
On the twelfth day of Christmas we had smiles on our lips
The guests had gone – the turkey too. We dined on fish and chips!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? – Frostbite.
A little boy rushed home from school and said excitedly: “I got a part in the Christmas play!”
“What part?” asked his mother.
“I’m one of the three wise guys!”
The Christmas stars
Any astronomer can predict with absolute accuracy just where every star in the universe will be as the clocks chimes midnight on Christmas Eve. He can make no such prediction about his teenage daughter.
Statistics prove we’re all getting stronger. Fifty years ago you needed an estate car to hold £50 worth of Christmas presents. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry £20 worth of Christmas groceries – now a five-year-old can do it.
Top ten things to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like
10. Hey! There’s a gift!
9. Well, well, well …
8. Oh dear. If I had not recently shot up four sizes that would’ve fit.
7. This will be perfect for wearing around the garage.
6. Goodness. I hope this never catches fire! Though, there are lots of unexplained fires.
5. If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious!
4. I love it – but I fear the jealousy it will inspire if I go out in it.
3. Sadly, I am allergic to whatever this is made of.
2. To think – I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
1. What have I done to deserve this?
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